Tookshire

Prayer Request

I posted this on my message board for a prayer request, and thought that those of you who only know of my son through my blog should be asked as well:

It happened so gradually (or quickly?) over the last month, that he didn't notice it was his good eye doing all the work.  Two weeks ago, when going for a tech visit, we found his eye sight was deteriorating (sp?).   The swelling is up, blood vessels are taking root deep into the cornea (in a normal eye, there are NO vessels there...it's very dangerous).  His body is still attacking the eye, and it is falling apart at the bottom (deepest layer) of the cornea.  Meds weren't working well enough, but his eye is too fragile for surgery right now.  The longer we wait, however, the more likely a new transplant will be rejected/attacked...but much more quickly, and much more efficiently.  It could be months, the doctor said, before Maxwell can have surgery.  We don't have months, though.  We were in the doctor's office from 6p.m. last Friday evening till just after 10p.m.   Our long, not great, visit ended up with Maxwell having to have a shot/needle injected into his eye while awake/alert, with no more than a few minutes notice.  They had to leave the room to let Maxwell regain his composure before giving him the shots.  He's frustrated, angry and scared.  We went through the minutia (sp) of the week, to find out what would have been "signs" that we didn't read properly (wouldn't have known or associated with this problem).  We've been told if anything comes of such symptoms for the next couple of weeks, that we are to call right away.  Our next appointment, which will include another needle, will be March 1.  We don't know what time, as we've been told that the next two weeks are completely booked, so we'll have to show up and just stay. 

As non-medically as I can get  I'll try to explain what is happening with his eye, so that specific prayers can be said.

For those of you who aren't familiar, the cornea is the clear covering over your pupil & iris area.  It is domed shaped, but gradually...like a smooth, round hill more than a peaked mountain.  The cornea is fairly strong, and contains special cells that allow us to see by controlling and focusing the light around us.  The health of the cornea controls about 75% of our ability to see.  It is the eye's last defense against germs, dust, etc. from the outside.  To my surprise, there are actually five different "layers" comprising the cornea...it's so thin!

Referring back to the 75% number, Max's interior and rear of the eye have also received damage...and while those are more complicated, and we remain on vigil for those portions...the cornea is the "biggie" right now.  To see at all, the light has to be focused by the cornea and lens in order for the retina to "see" and compute back what you are looking at.  Maxwell received a man made lens during the same procedure in which the corneal transplant was given.  Earlier he had to have his retina re-attached, and we are now on year two of the 8 year watch for a likelihood for another detachment.  The lens working properly, and the retina manually attached doesn't provide sight without a cornea.  Oh, and something else, the cornea does is to protect the eye from UV rays...which are the rays that deteriorate/attack both the lens and the retina.  Now, the retina is very susceptible, but I don't know (and didn't ask) if the lens, since it is man-made, is anything to worry about.

Last year, Maxwell received a transplant (among other things) and it made a marked improvement on his vision.  However, his body hasn't accepted this transplant and has been attacking it as a foreign body.  When our immune system attacks what it deems a foreign body or an infection, it produces a vast amount of cells to fight off bacteria, infection and the like.  Because this tissue (the cornea) doesn't completely match up with my son's (no organ donation honestly does match perfectly) the immune system has targeted the cornea as harmful.  This "harm" is read as a new disease.  Rather than things just not "matching up," which is what I initially thought a rejection was, the body is actively trying to protect itself by destroying the new tissue.  The cornea, left without anyone "on it's side" to help out, is in a loosing battle. 

Now, if I can explain this clearly...think of the cornea as a hill shaped covering over your iris/pupil.  Obviously the internal base of the hill is going to be attacked first...which means that while it tries to heal itself (with the aid of meds) what you are actually getting is scarring all along the bottom/internal portion of the eye...which also reduces vision (clouds it...you'll have to "see" through scaring as well as decreased vision caused by the dying cornea).  The bottom layer of the cornea is called the endothelium and it is responsible for the clarity of all the rest of the cornea.  There's some sort of liquid that the inner eye builds up...not sure what it is, or what it is for...but the normal, healthy eye, will push out this liquid right into the middle layer of the cornea.  Well, the endothelium (the bottom layer) pulls it back in a pump like fashion to keep the eye from swelling and from glaucoma (which my son has already had and is experiencing a bit now).  The cells making up the endothelium are never replaced by the body.  Once they are gone, they are gone.  Maxwell's transplant is being attacked in this area.  Once those cells are gone, they will be gone...leaving wide open the remaining cells of a blind cornea, and who knows what other damage can be done.  The only option would be to receive another transplant.  Which, we could do now, if he weren't in such physical stress, and which we are hoping to advert by saving this cornea.  (Honestly, you'll see after I finish explaining what is happening, that I don't know which one to pray for...if we save this cornea, I'm not sure he'll receive as good an eyesight as with a new cornea...but there's little survival options for a new cornea either.)

In my son's case, the trauma caused by the initial injury and subsequent surgeries, is joined together by what is basically a resilient healthy body of a young boy...meaning the immune system is better than average, replenishing what it can at a faster rate than, say, a 60/70 yo transplant recipient.  To send these Killer Blood Cells to the "front line" of the battle, the body is growing new blood vessels...think of them as dandelion roots....they start out very thin, etc, and very fragile...but they spindle out a long ways.  Now, there is to be Zero blood vessels in anyone's cornea.  Think of it this way...not only is the eye seeing through a dying cornea, but through scaring, and now through a thin web of vessels.  However, the more mature these vessels become, the thicker they grow...and the more they multiply. 

To stop the rejection of the tissue, the doctor's are giving more meds (here I'll talk briefly as if we hadn't received the news that he has to receive physical shots into the eye itself).  These meds work to retard the growth of these vessels and to retard the immune systems other reactions against the cornea.  Sounds all well and good, except that these same meds are very dangerous for other reasons, and Maxwell has reactions against the meds themselves.  Think of it like a cancer patient...in order to kill the cancer cells, the patient undertakes procedures that weaken their immune system and can cause complications and other diseases.  Taking these meds is not only reducing the immune systems response to attacking the eye, but is simultaneously reducing the immune systems ability to attack what it does need to attack...infections that Maxwell is having in the internal and outer part of the eye (swelling and eye pressure are a result of this...and those who have been following this saga might remember that it is like over inflating a tire with a weak spot...eventually it balloons and then will pop.  When it pops...game over.  For good.)

Not taking the drugs, would do irreparable damage to the eye.  Taking the drugs is risking irreparable damage.  Surgery for a new transplant can not be done with the eye swelling as it is, and the longer it takes to reduce the swelling (we are told that it could take months)...the thicker those dandelion-root vessels become.  The thicker they become, the less likely that any future transplant will survive.  Think of it like this.  You can't pluck out the dandelion roots...because they are coming from inside and beyond the eye.  You can cut them out...and gardeners know that if you break a root while weeding, that the root which remains will grow again...but with all the gusto of a thicker, more mature root (because it isn't starting from scratch any longer).  Think of the cornea as the soil in a pot.  If the soil looses all it's nutrients, but we replace that with more nutritious soil (thinking here of a new cornea), the roots will have even more of a reason to grow...and now that they've been "trained" on one area, they, too, will no longer be starting from scratch.  The new cornea won't have a chance.

Our best bet right now, is to take the chance of a risk by continuing with the meds in trying to regulate the immune system.  Some of those, as I've already mentioned, Maxwell has strong reactions/side-effects, too.  Unfortunately, those are the exact drugs that hold the greatest promise for stopping the rejection, keeping the swelling down, and has the fewest alternatives (meaning, there isn't any other drug out there that can do the job).  He's actually taking meds to counteract what his reactions are, which of course, reduces the effectiveness (if I'm understanding) of the first drug).  In addition, he's taking meds purely for the infections.  So, he's got quite a mix.  Currently, he's taking 9 different medications from 9a.m. to 10p.m....hourly.  And each med has to wait a few minutes before another med can be administered.  We've tried to play around with the timing of the dosages, so that he can go places without having to stop (like we started earlier in the day, so we could have an hour in the afternoon without meds), but we've stopped that.  Everything is on a routine now, which is one of the things (the monitoring and staying glued to a timer) that Maxwell didn't like before.  (one of the depression issues...he feels that doing that means that we don't trust him; it also allows him, in his mind, to see that decreasing eyesight is his fault because he overslept or forgot a med on time...which is easier to do without a chart...it also isn't any fun to have your mom on you all the time reminding you, or asking you, if you have taken all your meds).  Most people receiving a transplant of this kind do not have the added complications of meds.  Max is just special that way, I guess.  Heck, most people having a corneal transplant (I've heard the average is 20%) never have to worry about rejection at all.

Because the doctor feels Maxwell's eye needs that bit of extra help he's decided that my son needs to receive shots of a certain med that will help in the process.  This is a higher concentration, and lasts approximately 2 weeks.  Maxwell has to have his eye numbed (which he says doesn't work completely) by having a stick (looks like a giant end of a Q-tip soaked in something, stuck under his eye at a certain angle.  Not only does it not look comfortable (Max is warned not to move) but you also have to imagine it is on a very tender eye (and all our eyes are sensitive, but most of us don't have such a fragile eye that has undergone a lot of trauma).  Then a needle is injected, again at a certain angle.  The doctor decided this needed to be done immediately, during our appointment last Friday.  Maxwell, who has always been so brave during this ordeal, broke down.  They ended up leaving us alone for a few minutes so that Max could cry it out and regain his composure.  When the shot was given, however, he was a trooper, and didn't make a peep.  You could only tell by his lips pursing that he felt anything.

There is no guarantee that the meds will work sufficiently enough to cause the immune system to back off (or weaken it's attack).  There is always the possibility, in any transplant, that meds will not override the body's attempt at survival.  We have the type of injury, the previous surgeries, his age, his immune system, even the drugs working simultaneously against and for us. 

I remember so much more than you

My entire pregnancy was spent in dread.  I knew you would never feel my love.  Your older sister, my only other child, was a mere three months old when I discovered I was carrying you.  The pregnancy I had with your sister was so scary and pulled in me every possible motherly-fight-for-my-child instinct that I thought possible.  She had survived brutal things and had overcome so many threats to her life before even taking her first breath.  Everything I had was in her...how could I take that away to give to another child?

You see, I was immature enough in my understanding of love and so new at being a mother, that I had no idea that God would just supply my heart with the strength to love another.  I thought it would be like dividing love in half, to split among children, rather than addition or multiplication. 

I didn't prepare for you the same, either.  Prayers were much more generic.  Baby stuff was doubled or used things saved.  Rather than daydreaming new baby-room decor, I simply tried to figure out how to fit two cribs in a small room.  There were other things happening in my life, things that drew much of my attention.  Prayers were said for myself.

Labor was a long time coming, and a long time going.  But in all things were a lot less scary than the birth of my first child.  As luck would have it, only the private room in the hospital was available.  That added a lot to my comfort level.  I began to worry about what kind of mother I would be.  I wanted to be a good mom.  But I knew I would not be.  And I cried, because I knew that since we were connected, you must have hurt for the love I couldn't give.

Very soon after, you were born.  You are the only child that was given directly to me after birth.  You came out with just the littlest sounds, falling asleep almost as immediately as they put you on my chest.  And at that moment I think my heart fairly burst with such a flood of love as I had never known before.  There was nothing, nothing in that room other than you, with your perfectly bowed lips stuck out satisfactorily in a manner you still give, when you know you are certain.

You continue to amaze me.  It isn't that you are unrealistically optimistic...but you don't doubt, you don't fear.  You know you belong, you know who loves you, and you know from Whom your strength comes from.   I look at you now, 16 years later, and I remember so much more than you.  I know how quickly time flies by, how much goes into building a character, into maintaining a faith.  You are beautiful, smart, instinctive, emotional, wise and argumentative.  You are compassionate, discerning, keeper of secrets, teller of tales, watcher of equal amounts of pizza and even portions of potato chips.  You are a dreamer, a planner, a detective and accept things at face value.  You are classic and free.  You are quirky, self-assured and shy.  You are one who speaks their mind with out trying to hurt another's feelings.  You hide your feelings without denying them, but not your thoughts which are given outlets in spoken and written work, and sometimes music.  You are sixteen years of teaching me exactly what love is, what love does and what it is capable of.  And I remember every lesson.   

All of Me

I've recently talked about wanting to start fresh, blogwise...admittedly I didn't have so much as a theme...I just knew I wanted focus, and I knew that the focus needed to be something deep within me.  While my eyes are on God, I have to say that I'm very neglectful with this vessel he's given me (um, that'd be me).  I don't like me. very. much.  And to make a short story shorter, that is the problem.  At the root of my bad choices, that one fact sits.  Oh, I love myself not to do myself obvious insane harm or take unnecessary risks like free falling off of Niagra Falls (I'm such a chicken).  But it is why I put myself last, not because I'm such a great mom or wife.  Honestly, I cater to myself quiet often...I indulge in my OCD and SA, my over eating, my laziness with exercise, my procrastination with my lost love of reading.  I excuse myself quite often from a rich prayer life, and seldom is the laundry caught up...which allows me to pamper myself in sweats, t-shirt, no-bra and a pony tail.  So, when I say I don't take time for myself...I mean I don't invest, I don't aspire, and I don't encourage.   I do at least that much for my children and my husband...but in those parameters, I put myself last.  That's not what I want to be about.  That's not what I even want.  Well, no pain, no gain; nothing good ever came easy; and a bunch of other cliche's that mean, "Get moving, girl!"

I once belonged to a church whose motto was Standing Firm But Not Standing Still.  I adored that as a motto, and wanted to take it as my own.  Somewhere along the way, however, while I stood Firm, I was also standing still...and the ground shook me off base without my realizing it.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I realized it; but, I just didn't appreciate it.

What's all this have to do with blogging?  Well...I could just go blithely posting posts here on Tookshire...or I can allow myself a shot at starting over in a place that I can trace my accomplishments.  See, I never ever feel as if I have anything to show.  Those readers who are mom's can appreciate that while we can take little isolated things in our position as mom's (or even wives) as accomplishments, for all intents and purposes, those things are a never-ending story.  I want something I can shut the book on later.  Sure, the roots planted or the lessons learned might continue, but I want to look back down the mountain and know how far I've climbed when I reach the top.  (A bit over dramatic, but it works for me.)  I've been in the valley, too long my friends, and I need another perspective.  I need to go to that mountaintop retreat so that I can again descend into the valley for work, having been renewed and rejuvinated.

All this to invite you to take a peek, or to bookmark, or what not, a sub-site of the Tookshire board.  Those who have visited Tookshire "live" may have noticed my new swanky pre-defined theme.  With that new swanky pre-defined theme, you may have noticed (and why wouldn't you if you were observant ~snark) a new addition to the sidebar called "Tookshire Domain."  There you'll find some of my defunct or under construction (still lacking updates since 2004) places, but you'll also find a link for my 2007 aspirations entitled All of Me.  That's where I think I'm going to be found for the majority of 2007 (in fact, you can take that to the bank).  I'll still post on the main page, here, but my focus will be journaled at the All of Me site.  My catalyst for blogging there is, to examine this relationship I have with myself...and to understand why I so much don't like this being, this person whom God loves so dearly.  I want to stand rightly in my relationship with Him, so I'm going on this journey.  And now I'm going to blatently ask that you once in a while drop in for comments to give me that little extra helping hand.  My blogging goal is to type on something at least once every evening...with pictures (either my own or ripped off the web ... honestly of course).  I don't care for the layout, but mixed media doesn't give you  options...and I really wanted that calendar option to help me visually trace myself. 

I'm not sure how the site over there will develop.  Weight is a big issue for me, so that's what I ended up starting out with over there.  My regular jibber jabber can still be found here...and likely I'll post all my biblecentric things on this site, just because I think it is easier for those of you who have come into the habit of dropping by for my Feasts of the Lord postings.  OK...I suspect that's it...I look forward to seeing you!

Parallels

Sunday we arrived home stuffed from a late lunch and inactivity shortly thereafter watching the movie Eragon.  I don’t even recall what we ended up creating for supper, as so much of my time since then has been busy-busy-busy (everything seems a blur).  I remember it was something light and quick as we weren’t in the mood for much.  On Sunday evening our discussion began, as usual, asking the kids what they remembered of the Hanukkah story.  This time we heard a little more…and all the kids seemed free-er in their personal interpretations of the story. 

As we had just seen the story of Eragon (the kids read the book by the same name last year as part of a homeschooling book club) we took our cue from it’s story line … in which we find a formerly free country ruled by a cruel king (though, honestly, the movie didn’t carry this with any kind of weight) and how people were waiting for the dragon-rider (formerly the guardians of the land, but thought to have been made extinct through a murderous coup) to free them from their oppression.  We practiced drawing parallels in our Hanukkah story.  Not everything fit mind you (you could just as easily fit some plot points to match Star Wars…if you meshed all the movies together).  This seemed enough for the night’s studies.

Monday evening was tough.  We were throwing a party in our home this afternoon (Tuesday) and so the day time was spent cleaning things up.  I am afraid I feel back into some old habits, and dealing with OCD, and stress…well, lets say it didn’t help to lend a “teachable” time much less a family-bonding time for that evening.  We worked hard and had some hard feelings toward one another as well.  Franklin was feeling burned by what was supposed to be a quick trip to the mechanics to get the rear brakes on my car replaced (a job that would have taken him a bit longer than what the national-name brand business advertised…and so he was willing to spend a little more so that I could have the car to run errands necessary for the party as well as to pick up fresh ingredients for our Hanukkah dinner…they ended up taking an excess of three hours…leaving no time for any kind of prep…and too boot, they tried to jack up their profit by listing a ton of things that they said needed replacement/fixing…including front breaks he put on himself a couple of months ago…so we knew they weren’t being honest.  It’s always hard to pay someone for their work when you know they aren’t being honest.)  So, it was hard feelings all the way around.

The kids were given pizza for dinner…as no one really felt like eating (and pizza can be  eaten at their leisure). Franklin led the blessing over the lights, we held prayer for the meal, the kids received their blessing, and the evening’s discussion was really more of a quick story time about the intrigue leading up to the miracle.  We dismissed without too much fanfare and then crashed together to watch an old clay-mation Christmas special that I haven’t seen in years (one of my favorites, “Santa Claus is coming to town).

After the party this afternoon, the kids and I quickly cleaned up and decided that we weren’t hungry, really, for dinner.  Franklin is working this evening, and so would not be a part of the festivities…so it looked as if things were shaping up for a very casual sit-down.  My grandmother apparently fractured one of her leg-bones, and just as I was pulling things together for our observances, my mother called to see if my 16yo would mind spending the night with my grandmother for a couple of nights while she adjusted to the cast (which makes her an inch or so longer on one side).  Normally my daughter wouldn’t be allowed to go off and miss our gatherings, but since this was a special case, I decided it was necessary.  We packed quickly, and off she went across the bridge to my grandmother’s.  Pressed for time (as it was now growing quite dark), I quickly prepared our table and called my other children.  Since I was adopting

Franklin’s role, I asked if Olivia would like to do the lighting (she was thrilled).  Rather than food, we opted for a kosher, non-alcoholic juice cocktail.  The kids both mentioned how much everything felt like we were back at an older church of ours…when we could attend candle-lit evening services and take real communion-wine. 

Tonight we covered Malachi and Daniel…the prophecies and settings of both.  Both of these are covered in the Hanukkah postings offered on the sidebar…Daniel is spread out throughout all four entries, I believe…but Malachi is focused in part four (therefore, I’ll save you the rerun here).  Malachi happens to be one of my most favorite books in the Bible, by the way.  Maxwell was this close [holding fingers ½ inch apart] to being named Malachi but my husband said “no-way” as the name around these parts was greatly associated with a horrible red-headed horror movie villain.   

We spoke on revival…comparing what happened in the time after Nehemiah with what was happening with the Maccabees and those who became a part of the freedom fighters.  In both cases, they were preceded by a time when the laws and feasts were put aside and forgotten…not only by the people, but by a great part, the neglect was encouraged by the priests.  Soon, the undermining of the law cost the priests the people’s respect and need/desire for the priesthood themselves.  Those who held close the things of God, often, I’m sure, would have to wonder how much trust to give those who were to guide them in holy matters.  As I’m writing this out quickly for posting, I’m not sure how to change a conversation into “easy reading” but I shared with the children that the real danger for their souls is not those who teach other gods, but for those who come claiming Him, but in denying His truth.  For those who believe, I feel, the game continues to be to make believers doubt God’s word and then to exchange what they know as truth for a lie.  The very first man and woman were treated this way, Messiah was given the same temptation, and so were the people facing Hellenization.  I see a slow revival growing now, sturdily, in those who have belonged to a long tradition of acknowledging God but casting doubt on His word, especially in the things that God has deemed eternal.  While I don’t live in a community pursuing proper observances, I hear about it happening across my country…and it gives me a little strength.  The danger there (and oddly, I think I felt immune to it until this week when dealing with my Wikkan acquaintance) is to then take that knowledge and set a buffer zone around the law. 

A Perspective on the Law

"For as many as have sinned without the law will also perish without law, and as many as have sinned in the law will be judged by the law (for not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified: for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them) in the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel."  (Romans 2: 12-16)

The wife of a police officer can not help but to become extra cognizant of casual conversations concerning tickets, annoying neighbors and city crime.  Critique and criticism of the sheriff's office often are the result of an individual ill-informed of what purpose the law serves and how law is applied.  True, one will not always walk away with a sense of rectitude, as sometimes the law assaults what seems in our nature to recognize as fair play.  People in general feel that police officers are there to serve them...in some areas, officers are liberally lumped in with what we call "public servants."  however, their true and valuable position is to protect the law.  It is in the law that we, the people, can operate and function as one.  It is what binds us together.  While operating within the law is no guarantee of safety, long life or happiness, operating within the law (both the spirit and letter) will increase not only the individual's pursuit of those things, but also serves the greater good of the people as a whole.  Those operating outside of the law, or who justify their "tweak" of either the spirit or letter cause damage...sometimes only to themselves, very often to others, and always to the purpose of the law.  We live in a day and age where so much tweaking (abuse/misuse) has handicapped or changed the ability of the law itself; that the spirit and the letter are no longer what people as a whole understand, hold in common, operate by, or recognize.  The same accusations and damage, the same mindset and evolution has been placed by man towards the Law of God as found in scripture.

Grace, in today's world, seems to be something an individual expects as if it were their right.  To not be given mercy for breaking a known law, rather than a preparedness to shoulder responsibility for one's actions, has become something of an offensive thing.  Grace and mercy are now expected to be the norm, not the exception.  Even the most "law abiding" tend to gamble even having to face judgment for personal actions...and when caught, although outwardly contrite, are offended that there are much worse offenders of the law who have not yet faced judgment.  How often have I heard complaints pertaining to the unfairness of a speeding ticket from those whom I know regularly speed?  More times than not, I hear the line (supposedly from the conversation with the police officer), "Why don't you go out and catch a real criminal?"  The police officer did not take a look at them in one lane and an escaped convict in the other and choose to take the speeder.  A real law had been broken and the real standard highlighted a real law breaker, who is now receiving a real ticket.  The law condemns the driver, not the officer.  Police are instructed to decide (based on law) if a ticket should be given before they even arrive at the driver's side window.  However, the officer is also trained not to be legalistic about the situation, understanding that awareness, opportunity and situations are all at play.  In those cases, he's likely to show mercy - and perhaps even grace to some that he could not, would not and should  not show to others.  An individual's demand for "true" justice, however, such as quoted above, will often find the driver facing very detailed and  heavier fines.  (When hearing such impertinence, my husband will tally every incidental violation the person is also guilty of...just so they know how much of the weight of the law they were actually, initially, being excused of in grace.)  There isn't among us one innocent person when it comes to violating the laws of man.  There doesn't exist among us a grayness or a level of good versus bad...just a sense of heinousness by the individual and society.  Merely the difference seems to be which laws we transgress and how many by which we choose to abide.  Either way, the label remains the same for anyone who transgresses the law of the land...guilty.

Obedience to the law binds both the citizen and the police officer.  Both the spirit and the letter of the law must be present in order for obedience to exist without being legalistic or ineffectual.  There are many, by way of our country's court system, who have been injured by the adherence of the letter only.  Just as real are the many who, by way of our country's court system, have been denied justice (if not protection) because the spirit of the law was taken out of context from the letter.  So it is with the Law of God.  The idea that we can replace the teaching of God is the very first deception recorded in scripture.  It remains the most prevalent one to date.  "Tweaking" exchanges truth for a lie...and the lie can become so prevalent that it is seen as truth.  This reinvented truth opens the door for doubt and corruption, not only in society and individual relationships, but in the mere ability to hear the truth and know it.  Rightfully so, are there many who even come to doubt the scriptures themselves because the person is blind and deaf to anything other than the Lie.

The prevalent teaching pertaining to the Law when it comes to believers, is that the "new" testament has replaced the "old" testament.  The "old" testament is sometimes referred to as the Old Covenant.  And the Old Covenant seems to be synonymous, in the eyes of believers, as the "Law."  The common assumption is that the "new" testament is a New Covenant (and sometimes is referred to as such) as if believers of OT times were unaware that the NT provisions were even to occur.  In the Garden, however, God himself spoke of the coming of what we know as the NT.  Jeremiah spoke of the new covenant, and Paul identifies his time period (and beyond) as existing in the "new covenant."  First, let me assert that the testament, testimony if you will, of the Grace, Mercy and Provision of God was spoken of by Moses - and earlier still, even to Adam.  Everything goes back to that proclamation in the Garden, "...And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel."  The "old covenant" made with Abraham and his descendants is an eternal one.  In the Garden, man was first convinced that eternal meant only that which exists for a short time.  When asked about Old versus New, I honestly hold the point that there is no "New."  Even when scripture refers to the New, I believe it is talking not about new as in a place or time, but rather in freshness in form and quality.  What was new, what was innovative about the New Covenant brought forth in the New Testament, was the physical act of our part being taken upon by God.  From t his, not we as a people or as a nation have the Law as something that unites us, but we as individuals in relationship with the Father have the Law personalized, or "in our hearts."  The relationship that Abraham enjoyed because of his relationship with the Father (faith which was counted as righteousness...a standard) is the relationship that we, too, enjoy because of God's grace.  Do we then nullify the Law through faith?  May it never be!  On the contrary, we establish the Law.  (Romans 3:31)

Another prevalent teaching states that the church (here identified as a non-Jewish institution) has become His Chosen, and that it is only those who are saved by faith while those who were OT believers and modern day Jews labor/ed for their salvation through the Law.  Following this thought is the assertion that the Law is done away with this side of the cross.  This teaching came as a result of not only ignorance, but from an intentional, purposeful false teaching which has blossomed in more than one group with a cult-like devotion.  The only way one can support that definition, and to support their doctrine, is by doing away wholly with the Law itself.  Generations have swallowed this understanding without question, and while proclaiming the virtues of Bereans, neglect recognizing that, "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven."  (Matthew 5:19)

For those craving a deeper understanding of their spiritual heritage, or those who find the pro-Law argument at least interesting might be trying to deal with the common assertions against the Law.  The laws people seem to question me the most about aren't even in the Law, but rather are Judaic or Protestant/Catholic in origin.  The reader might no doubt be familiar with the concept of "building a fence around the law" referencing to what lengths the worship leaders felt it necessary to keep a believer from accidentally breaking a law.  Our family keeps (scriptural) kosher, and so one of the  more common questions I'm asked is if I'll eat a cheeseburger or if I'll pick ham out of the Southern version of green-beans.  I will consume a cheeseburger.  The cheeseburger question comes from hearing that one who is kosher is not allowed to mix milk with dairy.  In actuality, scripture states that we are not to consume an animal that has been prepared in it's mother's milk.  We can extend this, certainly, to not having a meal consisting of any dairy accompanying a meal in which it's offspring is being consumed without becoming legalistic.  Kosher is an act and demonstration of purity (nothing to do with health, which is the common teaching in churches).  Certainly one can see the cruelty of boiling a calf in it's mother's milk.  But can you also identify that doing so breaks a natural and whole unity?   With the marching on of time, few of us raise our own food or are in positions of knowing the true/detailed history of a given portion.  In shopping for cheese we have no certain idea of the relations between the cow giving that dairy product and the burger which we plan to grill for lunch.  The likelihood (especially in America) is that there is no line between the dairy cow and the beef cow.  For this, I fall back to Paul's wisdom of the Law when it came to purchasing meat in the market.  It was more than a don't-ask-don't-tell approach.  It was proper understanding and placement of the Law applied to the very everyday and mundane task of finding something to eat.  If I know that two cows are in relation, I would abstain.  If I eat with a friend who lives on a farm and lives a more rural existence than myself, I will allow reason to guide me.

I will not, however, pick pork out of the green bean dish that my mother-in-law prepares for holiday gatherings.  No, I'm not using discernment only with my mother-in-law.  I will not pick out pork or shellfish (among other things) from a dish period, for the intention of eating what is left behind.  Neither will I eat an egg fried in bacon fat, or eat a fish of whose origins with whom I am unfamiliar.  It becomes very difficult to be a gracious dinner guest, so I'm moved more times than not to decline an invitation for lunch or dinner.  There are times, however, when the host will lovingly want to honor us by trying to adhere to the standards we follow in eating.  In those cases, I also follow Paul's answer concerning meat in the market (please understand, I'm not equating a dinner invitation with Pagan sacrifices)...I share with them what I can not in good conscious take part in, and do not question the rest.  The same method is how I handle eating out.  I ask questions concerning the content of the meal itself, and leave the rest.  In preparing meals for my own family I know and am responsible for the background and preparations of the meal/s so will not observe ignorance for the sake of community.  This was a long, round-about example of how what people assume are laws, are not in fact, scriptural laws.  The non-scriptural laws are a lot more limiting and burdensome than the Law of God.  What worries some who are being spiritually led to observe the Law is that the Laws are burdensome.

In our homeschool setting, we are embarking upon a study of our system of American Government and its laws.  What binds us together as a nation isn't an ideal, a motto, or a name...but our laws.  Our laws set us apart from every nation in the world.  While "tweaking" of these laws have diminished the impact we have on our soil and abroad, our particular laws are what defines America.  The tweaking of the laws has changed what it means to be an American.  Any citizen of the world coming to our country would be, for the large part, subjected to and protected by our laws.  Their requirement, for the large part, would be the same as any citizen.  Any new citizen or young natural citizen, of course would be given time to grow and become educated.  The expectation is that such individuals will eventually follow the laws with a greater understanding and ability.  Following the law, even flawlessly, does not make you an American any more than following the Law of God makes you saved.  I believe that there is scriptural evidence to support that this same expectation was placed upon new believers when pertaining to the obligation to keep God's commandments.  (I can already see this post is getting longer...so if there is a need/request to expound on this, I will do so at a future time.)

If an individual holds even the shadow of a belief that keeping (or attempting to keep) God's commandments equates to, or adds to, or proves Salvation, then that same individual can disregard the atoning death of Messiah as it  has all been as nothing for him spiritually.  Any righteousness we have is solely through that atonement and is given to us.  "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)  If an individual sees that their adherence to the law brings about a thing of superiority in their spirit and which spews forth disdain in their action and in their words for others, then that individual can disregard the resurrection of the Messiah as it has been as nothing for him spiritually.  Any personal awakening and knowledge comes from and is guided by God which causes humility.  "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy."  (James 3:17)  If an individual believes that a follower must follow the Law because of their standing in Messiah, then that individual can disregard that kinship, as the relationship is but an allusion.  "But why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do the things which I say?  Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like:  He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock.  But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell.  And the ruin of that house was great...If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." (Luke 7:46-49 and John 14:15)  If an individual believes that the Law has been done away with because of the cross, then that individual can disregard the need of every man because Messiah was/is the solution to that need.  "And when they heard it, they glorified the Lord.  And they said to him, "You see, brother, how many myriads of Jews there are who have believed, and they are all zealous for the law; but they have been informed about you that you teach all the Jews who are among the Gentiles to forsake Moses, saying that they ought not to circumcise their children nor to walk according to the customs.  What then?  The assembly must certainly meet, for they will hear that you have come.  therefore do what we tell you:  We have four men who have taken a vow.  Take them and be purified with them, and pay their expenses so that they may shave their heads, and that all may know that those things of which they were informed concerning you are nothing, but that you yourself also walk orderly and keep the law.  But concerning the Gentiles who believe, we have written and decided that they should observe no such thing, except that they should keep themselves from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immortality.  (Acts 21: k20-25) 

If an individual asks if they are forbidden to follow the walk of Messiah because they are Gentiles...or if they have the freedom to wholly abstain or selectively choose certain laws because of their physical heritage, then let that person prayerfully understand that while there is no longer Jew and Gentile, the grafted branches are still called grafted.  That both states must be true, because it is scripture that tells us such, then to commit or not based on physical heritage or spiritual heritage would be folly. If you are a believer, grafted or no, the root vine the same.  A branch's healthy response to that vine is to bear fruit.  Those bearing no fruit are cut off, natural or no.  Apart from the root, the branch is unable, then, to bear fruit.  And in either state, the branch in and of itself is unable to produce.  Through the vine they are nourished, and without obligation, responds to that nourishment.  "And if a stranger dwells among you, and would keep the LORD's Passover, he must do so according to the rite of the Passover and according to its ceremony, you shall have one ordinance, both for the stranger and the native of the land."  (Numbers 9:14)

If an individual in right knowledge of salvation, being in relationship with God, is driven to follow His commandments, then blessings be upon that individual, for as John said, "Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments.  He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him.  By this we know that we are inHim.  He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked."  (I John 2:3-6)

Even in our spiritual imperfection, the Lord still loves us.  In our zeal, those of us who have an interest in the Law, can commit two hurtful acts.  We teach incorrectly that the Law was a shadow of the things to come, and that it is now a worthless thing.  We exchange it by teaching that the spirit of the Law only is what is important, and create a false doctrine which appeases the sin rather than provides the answer for its removal.  Such teaching produces freedom in a person's conscious while allowing them to remain in their current state.  Simultaneously it encourages the individual to ignore what they are convicted of, and to hate those who mirror their plight.  Or, we can teach that those who are not following exactly as we follow are immature in faith or don't measure up as believers.  It creates a way for individuals to be seen as living in a position of rebellion even if their faith is rich.  Can you imagine the enormous harm done to a child by placing upon them the expectations of an adult life immediately and at once and expect them to carry out as an adult would?  Can you imagine the stress inflicted to those, and upon their relationship with God that while they intimately embrace God and seek to do His will that one would impose upon them the need (wrongly) to obtain something which God Himself has not yet spoken to them?

Yom Kippur: Why we do what we do

Earlier I promised to write about the why's of our family's fall feast celebrations.  Doing so will encompass some "how's" simply from necessity.  For those interested in a brief historical overview of the feasts themselves, you can read the submission for last year.  For those who would care, you can read Yom Teruah: Why we do what we do before proceeding with this entry. 

Yom Kippur came and went for us this year.  My grandmother had to be taken to the hospital (she's fine now) and we did little more than pray.  And praying is a big part of Yom Kippur.  The name means the Day of Covering.  You might even be more familiar with the moniker, Day of Atonement.  See, when speaking of Covering, you're really talking about the Temple's blood sacrifices, and with sacrifices you're talking about atonement.   There's a lot of detail in both Leviticus and in Numbers of how the observances were to take place.  As I'm rushing out entries this morning, I'm leaving out links and most references...because this really is supposed to only be about how my family observes each individual fall feast.  For those interested in more detail, leave me what you want specifically in my comment section.

Most of the "observance" surrounded sacrifice which required the Temple and the priesthood in place.  Today that has all changed as there is no temple, and if one were Jewish and not in relationship with Messiah, the temple services have been replaced by liturgy and traditions within synagogues.  One of the methods of observing this holiday is to fast.  Fasting, it is thought, is done to bring one closer to God.  While I've played with this thought of fasting, and while I believe that fasting is and can be beneficial, this side of the resurrection and my relationship in Messiah (wherein is my atonement), I find that the purpose for fasting on this holiday for those aforementioned reasons, would be ... well ... not really necessary personally.  But if I think of what is needed nationally, and by those whom I love (both individually and as a group of people) fasting makes sense. 

Yom Teruah: Why we do what we do

Earlier I promised to write about the why's of our family's fall feast celebrations.  Doing so will encompass some "how's" simply from necessity.  For those interested in a brief historical overview of the feasts themselves, you can read the submission for last year.

For those uninterested in following either link, let me briefly start by stating that the term Rosh Hashanah, from what I've studied, and from what I accept, is a purely secular term for a purely secular holiday.  It is no different than saying New Year, the evening of December 31st and again the morning of January 1st (covering two days).  The secular new year known as Rosh Hashanah just so happens to fall on a single day, the very non-secular, non-new year, but biblical, holy-holiday (moedim) known by a handful of names, most notably, Yom Teruah. 

The main event was the blowing of the shofar trumpet, or the rams horn.  I believe my earlier link provides scriptural resources for the various references.  Again, if anyone is interested in anything here, or has questions for clarity or just interest, leave them in the comment section and I'll get back to you as soon as I'm on-line again.  Keep in mind, however, the lack of a personal computer may make the wait a long one. 

The blowing of the rams horn, during the time of the Temple, accompanied a good deal of sacrifices and offerings of all kinds.  The modern observance substitutes a number of activities, and places greater importance on others with the absence of the Temple.  Many are traditions you yourselves may have heard of, such as throwing bread crumbs into the water as an act of self-purification.  Now, the idea is taken from an interpretation of scripture, and combined with a Tashlikh prayer, so it is somewhat religious in its observance. 

Another popular step I was asked about (IRL) was the apple-eating.  LOL, the dear lady asked if my family were going to eat apples that evening...in fact, I think she asked if we were having apple pie or something.  Not putting much thought into it, I simply thought she asked if we were having a special dessert to mark the occasion, and I answered that we were having a Honey Cake...to which she answered that I should have some apples in there somewhere.  Laughingly I took it as a suggestion, but didn't quite realize she was referring to the tradition of eating apples, usually dipped in honey.  That concoction is a traditional part of the meal to mark the new year (Rosh Hashanah), sorta like having pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.  Why apples became the fruit of choice, I have no idea...but the root of that tradition came from yet another tradition that you treat yourself by dining on a fruit which one has not tasted for a long time, apple or not. 

I have no real love of apples, and I have a daughter that wouldn't touch them if it could be helped.  I have no shofar to blow (and wouldn't if the opportunity arose).  I don't travel to a body of water to cast bread into the water for self-purification.  So what does one such as I do, exactly, to mark the occasion?  As no representative of either Christian nor Messianic, I won't pretend that my way is duplicated across the board for those who do observe the feasts.  As none of those steps mentioned above are biblical for me to follow, I find one to be given specifically to those who are not of my kind, and some to be distractions of the purpose of the Feast itself.  There is one tradition, however, that we do observe.

Yom Teruah is the darkest (literally) of any of the feasts, as it occurs when the moon is new - simply the thin crescent.  In Jewish tradition, that evening begins a 10 day count to Yom Kippur, which I will discuss later.  This 10 day period is often referred to as "The Days of Awe."  During such a time, the individual (for traditions I don't follow) takes this period of time to prepare themselves to stand before God (which I do follow). 

The evening of Yom Teruah, our family spends quality time like no other time of the year (at least it feels like it for me).  With all but light enough for the one room, all other lights and distractions are turned off.  During this time we do our studies, specifically focused on this time of the year and in introspection, particularly in the area of repentance.  Highlighted is the significance of the blowing of the horn in scripture, and the significance in particular of the blowing of the rams horn.  With that we engage in how we can apply the lessons to the world we live in, and in our household the national focus is always on Israel. 

For those who have followed me long enough, you are already aware that each of the Spring moedim have been not only fulfilled, but fulfilled on the day of the feasts themselves.  Additionally, the symbolism carried within each of those feasts played significantly into the fulfillment of each, particularly in the identification of the Messiah among impostors.  While it is possible to believe and not understand or observe these feasts, or to have knowledge of their particulars, I do believe strongly that one cannot legitimately call themselves a Christian, and then doubt the content of scripture while still having ignorance of these feasts themselves.  Sorry, that was a little snark for something off line.  (Aye, repent)

It should be no surprise, then, that if the Spring moedim were fulfilled in their exact day and manner, that the future holds for us the Fall moedim fulfilled in their exact day and manner.  (I'm finding now that just straight typing this has me going in circles and it is difficult to present everything I wish to present...usually I give myself an assignment to polish before submitting on this sort of entry.) 

So, in the event that everything I've written before this (including the links) have been insufficient I'll try to brief you on future fulfillments and what it will look like.  It has come to my attention that there are a few of you (*cough* I won't name names) who ascribe this holiday (or Rosh Hashanah) to the day of rapture for true believers in Messiah.  I, personally, do not believe this to be a possibility at all.  I might even be so brassy to suggest that to do so would be trying to fit scripture to an ideology rather than just comparing scripture to scripture.  But that would be me, and snark #2 - I did promise snark.

I don't think I can do a summary justice without a study on the trumpets themselves...which I won't do here because I haven't the time.  If anyone is interested, and tells me so, I'll put something in the next time I'm on line for a significant amount of time...but for the summary itself, I can say that this moedim is not for repentance...repentance needs to happen before one stands before God.  Scripture is full of how the timing needs to happen, and I won't debate that, though I have friends who put their hope in a life with God without repentance.  This moedim, with its emphasis on the meaning of this particular trumpet, brings with it the idea of turning away from that which you have repented.  It is, in fact, preparing yourself for the Day you stand before God Himself.  Does preparing yourself mean that you do anything to earn or gain salvation?  No, don't be silly.  Scripturally, the God-given directive of turning away from that which you have repented is to, in fact, turn toward redemption in God through Messiah.  This concept is familiar in the Old Covenant as well as the New, in case you are interested.

In scripture, the blowing of a horn could have but a few meanings.  First and foremost, it called before the LORD an assembly.  The sound would lead a battle alarm, and also was used to announce the coronation of a king.  The shofar itself, in Temple service, was used rarely, so when either scripture or extra-biblical history tells us of its use, it has always been of significance.  Scripturally, twice, and twice only, are we told that God Himself is the trumpeter, and both times the shofar is employed.  The first time was in the desert with Moses as He brought the nation of Israel under the protection of what would be called the Old Covenant.  According to scripture, the next time will be at Messiah's return, and is known as the Day of the Lord, and it will be when he brings the nation of Israel under the New Covenant.  There is nothing that I can find in that that speaks of rapture of any believer until the Day of the Lord.

The Day of the Lord has been spoken of since the Old Covenant/Testament.  We are warned that this will be a dark (literal) day of judgment.  There will be a darkening of both the moon and the sun before the coming of the "day of the LORD."   Perhaps I'll do an entry later, just on this...as I've written and deleted several times in the interest of time.  For now, I'll submit that the Day of the Lord is accompanied by the warning that before the wrath of God comes, that the sun will give no light and the moon will be blood.   I believe the trumpet, in future fulfillment, will announce this Day. 

Shavuot, Just Like Honey

First, apologies on many levels.  This post is late, as the holiday depicted therein has already come and gone.  I had hoped to squeak this one in there, but I’m learning that when I procrastinate (even when it’s understandable) other things always get in the way.  I think I’m suffering what is commonly referred to as a summer cold.  Second, if you have any questions on this post whatsoever, please, feel free to put them in the comment section or via email.  I’ll get to them as soon as I can.  Third, normally I try to link the scriptures I’ve discussed and/or cited.  I’m just run down today…so speaking of procrastination…I’ll re-edit this post later to up live links and to add it to the sidebar.  If you have bloglines, I think it’ll update for you.

Shavuot

Since the most ancient of times surrounding the Temple, the feast known as Hag Hashavuot (Ex. 34:22; Dt. 16:10; 2 Chr. 8:13) was observed by all male Israelites.  Each man counted toward this holiday by marking time between the beginning of the barely harvest (First fruits) and the wheat harvest (Shavuot).  Forty-nine days (or seven sevens – link Lev 23:15-16; Dt. 16: 9-10) were counted.  This process has survived as the only continuing portion of the Feast of First Fruits and is known as Sefirat Ha-Omer (the counting of the Omer). On the fiftieth day, as Jewish law prescribed, the men, having journeyed to the most holy city on earth, Jerusalem, would present for themselves a wave offering, the first fruit offerings of the summer wheat crop.  (Deuteronomy 16:9-12)  The biblical observance was much like the First fruits, since both were first fruit offerings, but the service is further outlined in Numbers 28:26-31.   Unique to Shavuot, however, is the offering of two flat and leavened loaves (Lev 23:17).  As leaven, representative of sin, could not be placed upon the altar (Lev. 2:11), these loaves (accompanied by two lambs as a peace offering) were waved before the altar (forward and backward, then side to side) and set apart for the priest (Lev 23:20) to consume later that evening within the Temple walls. 

Originally the purpose and intent of Shavuot was agricultural in nature … but by the time of Jesus, tradition and Rabbis had concluded something different, something deeper.  Passover was celebrated and marked as the occasion when God released Israel from her physical bondage…the freedom they enjoyed spoke of the relationship of God to Israel…but His people were not ready as of then to enjoy a relationship of Israel toward God.  Rabbis, in study, had pinpointed Shavuot as the momentous occasion when God further blessed Israel at Mt. Sinai with His Law (more specifically, the giving of the 10 Commandments, Ex 19:1)…freedom from her spiritual bondage.  (After the fall of the temple, this concept was all that remained, and became the nearly sole focus of Shavuot observance).

The men, assembled in the court of the Temple of the Most High God, would here a lone priest would reading from the scrolls of the prophets Ezekiel and Habbukuk.

Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the River Chebar, that the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.  On the fifth day of the month, which was in the fifth year of King Jehoiachin’s captivity, the word of the LORD came expressly to Ezekiel the priest, the son of Buzi, in the land of the Chaldeans by the River Chebar; and the hand of the LORD was upon him there. 

Then  I looked, and behold, a whirlwind was coming out of the north, a great cloud with raging fire engulfing itself; and brightness was all around it and radiating out of its midst like the color of amber, out of the midst of the fire.  Also from within it came the likeness of four living creatures.  And this was their appearance: they had the likeness of a man.  Each one had four faces, and each one had four wings.  Their legs went straight and the soles of their feet were like the soles of calves’ feet.  They sparkled like the color of burnished bronze.  The hands of a man were under their wings on their four sides; and each of the four had faces and wings.  Their wings touched one another.  The creatures did not turn when they went, but each one went straight forward. 

As for the likeness of their faces, each had the face of a man; each of the four had the face of a lion on the right side, each of the four had the face of an ox on the left side, and each of the four had the face of an eagle.  Thus were their faces.  Their wings stretched upward; two wings of each one touched one another, and two covered their bodies.  And each one went straight forward; they went wherever the spirit wanted to go, and they did not turn when they went.

As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, like the appearance of torches going back and forth among the living creatures.  The fire was bright, and out of the fire went lightning.  And the living creatures ran back and fourth, in appearance like a flash of lightning.

Now as I looked at the living creatures, behold, a wheel was on the earth beside each living creature with its four faces.  The appearance of the wheels and their workings was like the color of beryl, and all four had the same likeness.  The appearance of their workings was, as it were, a wheel in the middle of a wheel.  When they moved, they went toward any one of four directions; they did not turn aside when they went.  As for their rims, they were so high they were awesome; and their rims were full of eyes, all around the four of them.  When the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.  Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they went, because there the spirit went; and the wheels were lifted together with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.  When those went, these went; when those stood, these stood; and when those were lifted from the earth, the wheels were lifted up together with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

The likeness of the firmament above the heads of the living creatures was like the color of an awesome crystal, stretched out over their heads.  And under the firmament their wings spread out straight, one toward another.  Each one had two which covered one side, and each one had two which covered the other side of the body.  When they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of many waters, like the voice of the Almighty, a tumult like the noise of an army; and when they stood still, they let down their wings.  A voice came from above the firmament that was over their heads; whenever they stood, they let down their wings. 

And above the firmament over their heads was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like a sapphire stone; on the likeness of the throne was a likeness with the appearance of a man high above it.  Also from the appearance of His waist and upward I saw, as it were, the color of amber with the appearance of fire all round within it; and from the appearance of His waist and downward I saw, as it were, the appearance of fire with the brightness all around.  Like the appearance of a rainbow in a cloud on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the brightness all around it.  This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD.

Then the Spirit lifted me up, and I heard behind me a great thunderous voice: “Blessed is the glory of the LORD from His place!”

(Ezekiel 1:1-28; 3:12)

“But the LORD is in His holy temple.  Let all the earth keep silence before Him.”  A prayer of Habakkuk the prophet, on Shigionoth.

O LORD, I have heard Your speech and was afraid;
O LORD, revive Your work in the midst of the years!

In the midst of the years make it known;

In wrath remember mercy.

God came from Teman,

The Holy One from the Mount Paran.

Selah

His glory covered the heavens,

And the earth was full of His praise.

His brightness was like the light;

He had rays flashing from His hand,

And there His power was hidden.

Before Him went pestilence,

And fever followed at His feet.

He stood and measured the earth;

He looked and startled the nations.

And the everlasting mountains were scattered.

The perpetual hills bowed.

His ways are everlasting.  I saw the tents of Cushan in affliction;

The curtains of the land of Midian trembled.

O LORD, were You displeased with the rivers,

Was Your anger against the rivers,

Was Your wrath against the sea,

That You rode on Your horses,

Your chariots of salvation?

Your bow was made quite ready;

Oaths were sworn over Your arrows.

Selah

You divided the earth with rivers.

The mountains saw You and trembled;
The overflowing of the water passed by.

The deep uttered its voice,
And lifted its hands on high.

The sun and moon stood still in their habitation; At the light of Your arrows they went,

At the shining of Your glittering spear.

You marched through the land in indignation;

You trampled the nations in anger.

You went forth for the salvation of Your people,

For salvation with Your Anointed.

You struck the head form the house of the wicked,

By laying bare from foundation to neck.

Selah.

You thrust through with his own arrows

The head of his villages.

They came out like a whirlwind to scatter me;

Their rejoicing was like feasting on the poor in secret. 

You walked through the sea with Your horses,

Through the heap of great waters.

When I heard, my body trembled;

My lips quivered at the voice;

Rottenness entered my bones;

And I trembled in myself,

That I might rest in the day of trouble.

When he comes up to the people,

He will invade them with his troops.

Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off form the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls –

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

(Habakkuk 2:20-3:19)

Imagine, on one such occasion, having traveled from various parts of the Middle East, and from as far away as Europe, Asia and parts of Africa, the worship service concluded with the sounds of a mighty storm.  No cloud could be found in the summer sky, but the unseasonable sound of wind must have brought to mind the scriptures just listened to, of the return of the Shekinah glory.  In search for themselves, the men found Galileans of whom God had placed supernatural indicators of the Holy Spirit (Ex 3:2-6; Acts 2: 3-4) and who were speaking their native language (Acts 2: 6).  Those local to Jerusalem may have even recognized these men as having been followers of the recently crucified man they called Messiah.  News of this phenomenon, though puzzling, spread throughout, and a crowd gathered before Peter at the plaza outside the southern entrance of the Temple, where rabbis would teach before allowing Temple entrance.  There Peter put a quick end to the supposition that those who had witnessed this phenomenon were merely drunk, but that in fact, this was a taste of that to come, that Shavuot was by the hand of God a prefullfillment of what the prophet Joel had spoken of:

’And it shall come to pass in the

            Last days, says God,

That I will pour out of My Spirit

            On all flesh;

Your sons and your daughters
            shall prophesy,

Your young men shall see visions,

Your old men shall dream dreams.

And on My menservants and on

            My maidservants

I will pour out My Spirit in those days;

And they shall prophesy.

I will show wonders in heaven above

And signs in the earth beneath:

Blood and fire and vapor of smoke.

The sun shall be turned into darkness,

And the moon into blood,

Before the coming of the great and awesome day of the LORD.

And it shall come to pass

That whoever calls on the name of the LORD Shall be saved.”

(Joel 2:16-21) 

Peter continued to plead for their souls and their understanding, by then using the very words of the great men of in scripture who foresaw the Messiah – about His death, resurrection and ascension.  Some came to understand, and in their despair cried out “Men and brethren, what shall we do?” (Acts 2: 37) to which Peter replied, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.  For the promise is to you and to your children and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.” (Acts 2: 38-39)  And, in response to hearing in the flesh, some three thousand accepted the free gift of the true Messiah.

Known by its Greek name, Pentecost (Acts 2:1), Shavuot has become for us (non-Jewish believers) the day God dedicated to include us in covenant.  These men who at last understood the purpose and meaning of the observance, and who through the experience gained a keener observation of all that the scriptures had taught, took back the good news of God to their homelands outside of Israel.  Through their obedience, love, determination and, no doubt, to the laying down of some of the lives of those men, scripture was carried back and taught to others at home and within home churches and synagogues.  In the traveling, not only were the Chosen People in Diaspora taught the Truth, but through this phenomena, my people were taught the things of God as well, and in this manner was I offered the same promise, that to call upon the name of the Lord would bring salvation.

Keeping with the theme that the Word of God, the scriptures, the law are like milk and honey to the soul, customs grew up commemorating the belief of the giving of the law, which I personally find both beautiful spiritually, and delightful to my palate delicious desserts (cheesecakes, Kreplach, etc) are served to a gathering (friends and/or family) who stay up all night together to discuss the bible.  The charge from that, the refuel and simultaneous closeness – not only to God, but to one another, is just invigorating and humbling. 

First Fruits - yea, you know me

First - if you haven't read the previous post, you should know that everytime I have a deadline (or promote a self-imposed deadline for blogging) something always happens.  Apologies.

Second - no one answered the little prep brain teaser, so I'm not apologizing that hard.  (I laugh.)

Third - Here's a larf that goes out to the super secret emailers (they haven't asked...I'm just letting them know...and the rest of you know)...that while Easter was being celebrated, so was I...First Fruits in the a.m. was the same day we received the Good News...scratch that, the GREAT News, according to the NT.  This year (2006) they all happened to share the slot on both calendars.  (the holiday actually began the evening prior according to the calendar, but daylight/morning is daylight/morning!!)

Fourth - OK, again, with apologies (see last post) I'll post something up here shortly (likely not today) pertaining to the First Fruits...and while that is super wonderful and everything, the next few days will almost completely be absorbed with preparing you for the last of the spring feasts...any guess on what it is and what significance it plays in your world today? 

Fifth - For those of you easedropping, I'll also start addressing things brought up through Maria's question in the comment section last week.  Oh, and Maria...you said you had others...if you want to email them or leave them here, or whatever...that's cool with me, too.

Sixth - I was so fortunate this morning.  I couldn't sleep (again, last post!!) with all my anxiety and tummy in knots.  Who should appear but my lovely friend, Zoe!  She and I have never been able to talk in "real time" because she is on the other side of the Atlantic...I really enjoyed our talk, hon.  Thanks for taking my mind off things for a while.

Seventh & Last - Computer is acting up...so no spell check for fear I'll loose it all.

Clarification for mystery emailer

I received an email w/o a name again, linking me to a websearch highlighting another blog.  It's a blog I receive a small trickle from now and again (not my own) specifically when it comes to the Feasts.  I clicked through...and see the confusion...it was one of when exactly is the Seder.

The Seder is over, my friends...happened yesterday (Wednesday evening).  Today (Thursday evening) was specifically made for those outside of Jerusalem during the diaspora.  Sometimes it is referred to as a Second Seder.  I'm rushing on time, but it had to do with the proper time of day and getting the word out to those outside of Jerusalem in as close-as-they-could-manage time frame.  Seders are held much like our Christmas Eve ('cause if Messiah was eating the Seder on the day He was crucified, He would scripturally have to be eating it while he was on the cross itself...and we all know that didn't happen.)  Don't forget there was a lamb sacrificed at the temple on behalf of the nation and those who couldn't (or wouldn't) bring proper sacrifice themselves...Did I skip posting that part?  It's this sacrifice specifically that was happening simutaneously in the Temple while Messiah was sacrificed for us. 

Scripturally another Passover is observed a month later for those who were unclean the night Passover should have been celebrated.  So, the person has it incorrect, sadly...and is forgetting the Feast of Unleavened Bread (I think that's what they are doing, anyway). 

In other news, we had a lovely Seder last evening...mixed it up a little with some new readings and new dishes.  Maxwell made two lovely portions of our meal...chocolate toffee matzah (he loved it last winter as a treat) for dessert and he made up a recipe for the charoset...tasted pretty good, and I just polished off the rest of it this evening as a snack.  (Yes, I spell that word all sorts of ways because I've seen it written all sorts of ways and have no desire to research which is appropriate and when).  Epiphany and I stuffed dates - which were delicious. Olivia won't eat them because dried dates look a little like gigantic roaches.  Yes, they do!  I managed to take I think a total of three pictures before my camera batteries died (grumble).  I'm still inept at loading pic's to the computer...if and when I have it up, I'll let you know.