Tookshire

Not Much

I haven't been on much lately...well, I haven't been on with the purpose to blog or to read blogs.  I'm going through something.  Something spiritual, that has sapped any "wanting" to write. 

I've been busy on my own, creating and laying the foundation for a project.  That and preparing for homeschool 2007/2008.  With the needs that must be filled for the coming school year, I'll leave behind a lot of people, a lot of activities that we once enjoyed.  But, it looks like greener fields ahead, so that does not dishearten.  The remainder of this year, I'm pulling our homeschooling inward again.  With Maxwell's transplant failing, I have no guarantee that he'll be able to read through the rest of this school year, let alone 2007 in its entirety.  We need to take advantage of this time we have, basically. 

We've  found a place of worship that more closely matches what I feel scriptures ask of us.  And while that should make me giddy, there's still something a bit lacking.  The worship is right, the teachings however...part of it is me being "new" I'm sure...but the teaching is so far from what is anything a believer needs.  Or, perhaps I should not give way to what could be an opening for pride.  Perhaps there is something that I've yet discovered as being for my own good.

I had a conversation with another homeschooling mother...one whom I knew many moons ago, and have just recently reacquainted myself with...she and I have such varying emphasis on our faith, that at times it seems impossible for us to have an open conversation.  The problem isn't that we disagree, LOL, though there are areas that certainly she and I would draw lines on...but that we agree and our focus is different.   The conversation brought to light, however, something that has bothered me greatly about many of the friendships that I've had with other believers.   It seems as if there are a lot of faith or beliefs that are assumed rather than backed up with scripture.  And these emotional desires seem to, for all intents and purposes, trump what scripture actually demonstrates.  I'm becoming disillusioned not because of people's sin, but their arrogance, their smugness in creating, sometimes out of half truths, sometimes out of whole cloth, a convincing theology, that, given some rope, will ultimately lead to the full corruption of the Church.   What is sadly amusing, is that those will articulate just that same sentiment against those who are not believers, but who crow about their Christianity anyway.   

My son's eye

Yesterday, during my son's doctor appointment, we were told that his body appears to be rejecting the transplant.  His pressure was up, the swelling was high.  Changes have been made to some of his meds and new meds were added, also.  The doctor is going this route before we consider surgery again.  We have two future appointments in the meantime.

Deeply

I just have to say how deeply I love my husband.  There have been things in the last couple of years that have just put us through the ringer.  And while sometimes those things brought out the worst in me, I have to say, that the aftermath (and sometimes continuing circumstances) just catches my breath about how incredibly stable and strong and ... yes I'm going to say it ... selflessly heroic my man is.

Everyone here knows about his training to be in the police department...and the adjustment everyone made for that...not just with our thinking and our time with him, but in knowing what he is facing every day.  Everyone here has varying levels of knowledge, but at least knowledge of what hurdles, heartbreaks and hopes we have traveled with our young son in the journey to save his eye and then his sight.  A few of you know some more of my personal life (that I will not go into here), especially events that have transpired in the last month...the last week specifically...I would have rather gnawed through my own arm than to go through.  We also have the ordinary struggles with money, organization, etc.  that most couples or individual spouses go through. 

But after last week, I'm looking at him differently.  I love him so so much more than I did the week before.  And the week before I was already at the "no bounds" point.  How is it possible?  How is it possible to already feel something is so complete and to find oceans more behind it? 

It's Raining It' Pouring

Does the sound of rain make you want to snuggle under a blanket?  It's doing the lazy rain thing outside now.  I love that sound.

It does spoil outside activities, though.  It's cold, too...so the rain isn't going to "feel" pleasant.

I've a conference call with the lawyers  this afternoon...only time they and my husband have available time on calendars.  I say available...but it cancels the plans Franklin and I had together.  Which we have too little together time. 

I guess I'm not as blue as I'm sounding.  It's just a rainy day.  And I'm not looking forward to the conference call.  I don't exactly expect anything bad...it's just I don't want to have to deal with it on top of all that I already am having to sort out. 

All of Me

I've recently talked about wanting to start fresh, blogwise...admittedly I didn't have so much as a theme...I just knew I wanted focus, and I knew that the focus needed to be something deep within me.  While my eyes are on God, I have to say that I'm very neglectful with this vessel he's given me (um, that'd be me).  I don't like me. very. much.  And to make a short story shorter, that is the problem.  At the root of my bad choices, that one fact sits.  Oh, I love myself not to do myself obvious insane harm or take unnecessary risks like free falling off of Niagra Falls (I'm such a chicken).  But it is why I put myself last, not because I'm such a great mom or wife.  Honestly, I cater to myself quiet often...I indulge in my OCD and SA, my over eating, my laziness with exercise, my procrastination with my lost love of reading.  I excuse myself quite often from a rich prayer life, and seldom is the laundry caught up...which allows me to pamper myself in sweats, t-shirt, no-bra and a pony tail.  So, when I say I don't take time for myself...I mean I don't invest, I don't aspire, and I don't encourage.   I do at least that much for my children and my husband...but in those parameters, I put myself last.  That's not what I want to be about.  That's not what I even want.  Well, no pain, no gain; nothing good ever came easy; and a bunch of other cliche's that mean, "Get moving, girl!"

I once belonged to a church whose motto was Standing Firm But Not Standing Still.  I adored that as a motto, and wanted to take it as my own.  Somewhere along the way, however, while I stood Firm, I was also standing still...and the ground shook me off base without my realizing it.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I realized it; but, I just didn't appreciate it.

What's all this have to do with blogging?  Well...I could just go blithely posting posts here on Tookshire...or I can allow myself a shot at starting over in a place that I can trace my accomplishments.  See, I never ever feel as if I have anything to show.  Those readers who are mom's can appreciate that while we can take little isolated things in our position as mom's (or even wives) as accomplishments, for all intents and purposes, those things are a never-ending story.  I want something I can shut the book on later.  Sure, the roots planted or the lessons learned might continue, but I want to look back down the mountain and know how far I've climbed when I reach the top.  (A bit over dramatic, but it works for me.)  I've been in the valley, too long my friends, and I need another perspective.  I need to go to that mountaintop retreat so that I can again descend into the valley for work, having been renewed and rejuvinated.

All this to invite you to take a peek, or to bookmark, or what not, a sub-site of the Tookshire board.  Those who have visited Tookshire "live" may have noticed my new swanky pre-defined theme.  With that new swanky pre-defined theme, you may have noticed (and why wouldn't you if you were observant ~snark) a new addition to the sidebar called "Tookshire Domain."  There you'll find some of my defunct or under construction (still lacking updates since 2004) places, but you'll also find a link for my 2007 aspirations entitled All of Me.  That's where I think I'm going to be found for the majority of 2007 (in fact, you can take that to the bank).  I'll still post on the main page, here, but my focus will be journaled at the All of Me site.  My catalyst for blogging there is, to examine this relationship I have with myself...and to understand why I so much don't like this being, this person whom God loves so dearly.  I want to stand rightly in my relationship with Him, so I'm going on this journey.  And now I'm going to blatently ask that you once in a while drop in for comments to give me that little extra helping hand.  My blogging goal is to type on something at least once every evening...with pictures (either my own or ripped off the web ... honestly of course).  I don't care for the layout, but mixed media doesn't give you  options...and I really wanted that calendar option to help me visually trace myself. 

I'm not sure how the site over there will develop.  Weight is a big issue for me, so that's what I ended up starting out with over there.  My regular jibber jabber can still be found here...and likely I'll post all my biblecentric things on this site, just because I think it is easier for those of you who have come into the habit of dropping by for my Feasts of the Lord postings.  OK...I suspect that's it...I look forward to seeing you!

One down, 364 to go

Franklin rang in the New Year while working.  He and another officer opted to grab a quick midnight dinner together.  I'm so happy he has friends at work.  My hubby worked for a long time as a teacher, and had very few friends, as he doesn't like to develop relationships with females (yes, I never have to worry).  Needless to say, teaching positions are typically filled by females.

The kids and I stayed  home, as per our norm.  For Christmas we received a couple of plastic "vintage" popcorn "bags" and a thing of Jiffy-pop Popcorn.  We heated that up, divided it between the "bags" and a bowl and snuggled down to watch The Lady In The Water.  (I've no idea why this was trashed...it was a wonderful movie.)  The  movie ended just ten minutes before the stroke of midnight...we turned the tv to watch the celebrations across the country, while fireworks started going off in our neighborhood.  Olivia and I ventured out on our covered back-patio and watched those that were exploding from the back neighborhood.  Rain started about a  half hour in, which silenced the neighborhood...so the kids (particularly Maxwell) were able to sleep soundly.  I'm a little surprised that the noise of fireworks weren't heard tonight (the 1st).  Must not have had a lot of left overs.

Today went so quickly that I hardly had time to notice.  The kids are helping me catch up on some documentation for school.  I'm already constructing portfolios for the end of the year and most of my day was spent creating forms.  A quick run to the grocery store ended up with an $80 bill...but I think we have a week's worth of food, when combined with what's in the pantry and freezer.  Tonight we had Italian Chicken, Sautee'd Spinach with onion and peppers, and buttered noodles.  Tasty.  After dinner we read the first chapter in their new American History class.  The remainder of the 2007 year will be so hectic and busy, that I've decided we'll forgo reports and written Q&A within the text...we'll just do reading together after dinner. 

This kind of post is not the most interesting, or the most memorable...but I'm trying just to write for writings sake.  I've been averaging only four hours a night of sleep, and I'm truly exhausted.  I love staying up by myself though...I don't get anything done, really.  I always tell myself that I will, though.  Well, that's it, I suppose.  Good night from a tired Jamie, and a Happy New Year!

Typepad blues

Blogwise, I am getting the itch to crumple up and start over.  I thought I would start with the Design and Layout for my typepad site, but despite submitting everything for republishing (once changes are made) nothing is taking affect.  At the moment I have a help-ticket waiting to be answered.

One thing that has always bothered me about typepad (despite the lack of finding any understandable directions to put a little personality onto a blog's look without having to use one of their pre-fab things) is that there is so much wasted space immediately to the left and right of the screen.  The body of the post should be given a wider space, and push the left/right columns out...if there's a way to accomplish this, I'm too much of a non-tech to understand where to find the info.  Same with the design.  I have the uberest of accounts, thinking that I could manipulate the screen sorta like I did back in my old xanga days...but there's nothing for me to manipulate here.  The CSS screen is virtually un-user friendly, and googling things hasn't proved fruitful.

I started another blog...well, that's not exactly true.  I signed up and have chosen a prefab theme from another site (one that actually fits my personality, or at least the personality I want to give my blog).  The site is tookshire.vox.com.  Now, there's no need to go rushing over there, because all I have is a "under construction" post redirecting you to the tookshire.typepad.com site.  But if you are interested in looking at the layout, be my guest.

I started the blog about a month ago (maybe more) but haven't had the time to figure out if I actually want to put down roots somewhere else.  As much as I want to crumple this place up, it isn't because I have a "vision" for a blog (well, I have visions for some sub-blogging...but figure that's just silly because I could just categorize postings on the main page, no?).  I think I just wanted "pretty" and couldn't find it here on typepad.  And moving is such a hassel anyway.

Parallels

Sunday we arrived home stuffed from a late lunch and inactivity shortly thereafter watching the movie Eragon.  I don’t even recall what we ended up creating for supper, as so much of my time since then has been busy-busy-busy (everything seems a blur).  I remember it was something light and quick as we weren’t in the mood for much.  On Sunday evening our discussion began, as usual, asking the kids what they remembered of the Hanukkah story.  This time we heard a little more…and all the kids seemed free-er in their personal interpretations of the story. 

As we had just seen the story of Eragon (the kids read the book by the same name last year as part of a homeschooling book club) we took our cue from it’s story line … in which we find a formerly free country ruled by a cruel king (though, honestly, the movie didn’t carry this with any kind of weight) and how people were waiting for the dragon-rider (formerly the guardians of the land, but thought to have been made extinct through a murderous coup) to free them from their oppression.  We practiced drawing parallels in our Hanukkah story.  Not everything fit mind you (you could just as easily fit some plot points to match Star Wars…if you meshed all the movies together).  This seemed enough for the night’s studies.

Monday evening was tough.  We were throwing a party in our home this afternoon (Tuesday) and so the day time was spent cleaning things up.  I am afraid I feel back into some old habits, and dealing with OCD, and stress…well, lets say it didn’t help to lend a “teachable” time much less a family-bonding time for that evening.  We worked hard and had some hard feelings toward one another as well.  Franklin was feeling burned by what was supposed to be a quick trip to the mechanics to get the rear brakes on my car replaced (a job that would have taken him a bit longer than what the national-name brand business advertised…and so he was willing to spend a little more so that I could have the car to run errands necessary for the party as well as to pick up fresh ingredients for our Hanukkah dinner…they ended up taking an excess of three hours…leaving no time for any kind of prep…and too boot, they tried to jack up their profit by listing a ton of things that they said needed replacement/fixing…including front breaks he put on himself a couple of months ago…so we knew they weren’t being honest.  It’s always hard to pay someone for their work when you know they aren’t being honest.)  So, it was hard feelings all the way around.

The kids were given pizza for dinner…as no one really felt like eating (and pizza can be  eaten at their leisure). Franklin led the blessing over the lights, we held prayer for the meal, the kids received their blessing, and the evening’s discussion was really more of a quick story time about the intrigue leading up to the miracle.  We dismissed without too much fanfare and then crashed together to watch an old clay-mation Christmas special that I haven’t seen in years (one of my favorites, “Santa Claus is coming to town).

After the party this afternoon, the kids and I quickly cleaned up and decided that we weren’t hungry, really, for dinner.  Franklin is working this evening, and so would not be a part of the festivities…so it looked as if things were shaping up for a very casual sit-down.  My grandmother apparently fractured one of her leg-bones, and just as I was pulling things together for our observances, my mother called to see if my 16yo would mind spending the night with my grandmother for a couple of nights while she adjusted to the cast (which makes her an inch or so longer on one side).  Normally my daughter wouldn’t be allowed to go off and miss our gatherings, but since this was a special case, I decided it was necessary.  We packed quickly, and off she went across the bridge to my grandmother’s.  Pressed for time (as it was now growing quite dark), I quickly prepared our table and called my other children.  Since I was adopting

Franklin’s role, I asked if Olivia would like to do the lighting (she was thrilled).  Rather than food, we opted for a kosher, non-alcoholic juice cocktail.  The kids both mentioned how much everything felt like we were back at an older church of ours…when we could attend candle-lit evening services and take real communion-wine. 

Tonight we covered Malachi and Daniel…the prophecies and settings of both.  Both of these are covered in the Hanukkah postings offered on the sidebar…Daniel is spread out throughout all four entries, I believe…but Malachi is focused in part four (therefore, I’ll save you the rerun here).  Malachi happens to be one of my most favorite books in the Bible, by the way.  Maxwell was this close [holding fingers ½ inch apart] to being named Malachi but my husband said “no-way” as the name around these parts was greatly associated with a horrible red-headed horror movie villain.   

We spoke on revival…comparing what happened in the time after Nehemiah with what was happening with the Maccabees and those who became a part of the freedom fighters.  In both cases, they were preceded by a time when the laws and feasts were put aside and forgotten…not only by the people, but by a great part, the neglect was encouraged by the priests.  Soon, the undermining of the law cost the priests the people’s respect and need/desire for the priesthood themselves.  Those who held close the things of God, often, I’m sure, would have to wonder how much trust to give those who were to guide them in holy matters.  As I’m writing this out quickly for posting, I’m not sure how to change a conversation into “easy reading” but I shared with the children that the real danger for their souls is not those who teach other gods, but for those who come claiming Him, but in denying His truth.  For those who believe, I feel, the game continues to be to make believers doubt God’s word and then to exchange what they know as truth for a lie.  The very first man and woman were treated this way, Messiah was given the same temptation, and so were the people facing Hellenization.  I see a slow revival growing now, sturdily, in those who have belonged to a long tradition of acknowledging God but casting doubt on His word, especially in the things that God has deemed eternal.  While I don’t live in a community pursuing proper observances, I hear about it happening across my country…and it gives me a little strength.  The danger there (and oddly, I think I felt immune to it until this week when dealing with my Wikkan acquaintance) is to then take that knowledge and set a buffer zone around the law. 

Just a little conversation

Last night was the official start of the Hanukkah Feast of Lights.  You might be confused looking at your calendar, scratching your head, and thinking, "but it says it begins on another night" (unless you have a really progressive calendar, LOL).  Simple explination really, because time is regulated by a different calendar than our own, we begin celebrating the evening prior...at sundown...more specifically, when three stars can be seen in the sky.

Last night was beautiful.  I've shared last year (and you can find the links during the month of December on my right-hand side bar) what Hanukkah is...and I've been asked several times this year as to how my family celebrates Hanukkah - to which I'm thinking you are asking about why we do what we do and how we do it.  The most interesting person asking me this information happens to be an acquaintence of mine whom I just discovered is a Wiccan (...).  Regardless of where the question comes from, I always hesitate to answer specifically...especially if I know the individual is looking to add a little flavor to their Christmas celebration.  (Sounds, rude...not meant that way).  My reasoning is...I would rather have the individual study the things I share with them, and begin digging on their own, things in scripture, things in prayer, things in the movement of the Spirit.  Too often our human nature begins to make idols of things, and adding flavor, in my opinion, is the making of an idol.  Oh, maybe we don't worship those things...but we stop short of actually pursuing God in favor of the traditions and cultures that have grown up around a great miracle.  With the aquaintence, I'm not sure how to handle it...because necessarily it has to be different.  I've released little bits of information here and there, trying even to set aside the historical stories and going for the more personal things as they involve blessings and teaching.  (I've just shot off an email to her, hoping that it will generate some further interest, as she and I will see each other soon.)  Please pray.

When posting the information last year (again...scroll down on the right hand scroll bar) I saw that I wrapped up the fourth installment with the tintillating promise of perhaps more things to come: 

In the following week or so there will be a special “Companion Edition” to the Hanukkah History.  Unguarantee’d Feature-etts may be:

“ … err…what happened after”

Patterns

Jesus’ message

Future Fulfillment

Date of Christmas

Feast of Tabernacles and Hanukkah

Either I deleted them (I did have a huge typepad fiasco last spring) or I never submitted them, or I'm just not using the right key-word search on my google.  I can't even promise that I remember why I jimmy-d up those titles, but if anything sparks an interest to you, let me know and I'll do a little mini edition on my free time this week.

Back to last night...for those of you who would like to know what the first night entails for the Tookshire household:

Our menu consisted of two roasted chicken (lemon pepper), peas, latkes w/ sour cream and chunky applesauce.  Maxwell picked the dessert for the evening, which I fully expected to be some sort of breaded/fried item, but we were given the very non-traditional Cookie-Dough Icecream.  Our table was set using our finest holiday fare (our Christmas dishes, regular glasses specifically purchased to match both our holiday and regular dishes, mismatched silverware, cloth napkins, white serving dishes and platters).  Everything had to be prepared for timing with sundown, so we could have a smooth run.  Franklin said the blessing (again, see side bar) and the light was lit.  We then followed with prayer, thanking God for what he has given to us.  Afterwhich we ate dinner...and the dinner conversation entailed the children sharing with us what they remember of the history behind Hanukkah (celebrating it only once a year, even with school studies, hasn't brought about natural story tellers in my children).  This is followed by leading questions, to help them remember more specifics, or to teach them why "such-and-such" is really significant in the scheme of things.  After this, we talk to the kids about the spiritual behind Hanukkah.   (This portion will continue through the next few nights as well, with more acute points that I'll share with you in future updates to our celebration.)

As dinner comes to a close, and icecream is served, the conversation relaxed a bit...and I have no idea how Hanukkah and Alice in Wonderland were connected (probably through some weird version of 6-degrees-of-seperation), but it ended in a strong disagreement over whether in the book there was indeed an infant-turned-pig.  My younger daughter vehemently denied such a thing ever took place, to which Franklin brought out the book (which I never read to the children...whom only have seen the Disney movie for Alice) and finding the illustration, promptly showed us a bit of a pride issue when the same daughter still refused to believe it wasn't true and that only the Alice/Disney movie counted for the conversation (and she wasn't trying to be funny).  Soo...I think on a future night we will work in a little of the story of Joshua/Jason (same person) who's pride not only led him to murder his own brother (entwined with the Hanukkah story) but also led to his loosing the position for which he killed.

Once the conversation was back on track again (again...not really remembering all the different layers of conversation that reconnected the story back to Hanukkah...you know, we all rabbit trail), Franklin then began blessing the children.  This also will progress as the nights lead us onward...for those of you who are wondering "how to bless" the children...it's very simple.  It's your prayers for your child...and the child has the opportunity to hear what the parent carrys for them in his heart.  (Much different than a mommy's heart.)  I don't think children necessarily have this very often anymore, and I know that even Franklin is a bit self consious doing so.  But the prayer starts as the earlier ones, recognizing who God is, thanking Him for the blessings bestowed upon the family, and the individuals.  He then proceeds to pray for each of the children individually...consisting of sentences that you can fill in your own ending:

"Keep them from..." "Help them with..." "May they always..." "May they remember..." "Lead them to..." "Strengthen  them with..." "Cause them to remember..." "Bless them with..." etc.  Of course, you may have your own "joggers"  Some things are the same for the children, but many are tailored to the child.  With each focus of the nights being slightly different, the blessings will be different, still.  This year Franklin will be absent from three of our meals, and I'll take over both, and I'm sure that they'll be more mommified than not. (wink)  One of the nights we leave shortly after the blessings, for something we committed to before consulting the calendar, so I'm not sure how that will change things.  (Will let you know)

Why can I not just shut up?

Just when I think no body is reading my blog (except for Maria...who leaves evidence) I receive a comment in real life.  I've only shared my blog with about four members of my real life (read: off line) world.  None of them share my desires, interests, background and to a great extent my faith.  Which made me a little hesitant to share, to tell you honestly.  What did I picture?  People slamming me rather than commenting?  (one person was my mother...given when I was a bit insane...and whom I don't believe ever has visited...which is better?)  But while I write now I feel I have to explain more...which makes it less motivating for me to write.  Crumb.

In the last two, maybe three weeks, I have been involved with a number conversational Hot Topics.  You know, political, religious, homeschool or parental choice type discussions.  Where it doesn't matter if your opinion is rational, or even if hard facts back you up, you (eg, me) are a narrow minded, harsh, judgemental grinch for being the way you (eg, me) are.  And the sad thing is...the conversations haven't dwindled down into name calling (implications, perhaps) or dissolved with "I'm not your friend/I'm not speaking to you ever ever again so help me, Bugs Bunny."  But I have been practicing advice I was given by a group of women whom I know are lovely people, and many who shoot straight from the hip.  Because I'm convicted (no, not criminally) I might come across a little strong or intimidating.  With that in mind, I decided to try an experiment.  My new resolve was to hush.  Of course, I stink at this.  I fall into talking when I don't mean to, especially when the conversation circulates around things or topics I'm passionate about.  A month ago I couldn't beat a conversation out of anyone and since I opted for this hush-mode, things are popping up all over.  And I'm not saying I'm successful at the hush-mode, either.  The more I hush, or try not to "make a point" about something, the more that one "point" needs to be said.  And once that point is said, there's hurt feelings or cemented notions (even if they are incorrect...heck, even if they are correct, sometimes they are viewed meanly rather than "hey, she just brought up something that I should consider.") 

It's not like I bring up every thought I have (seriously, you wouldn't know it, but there's a lot bottled up when I talk with people, online or otherwise).  Unless it is something dealing with faith - in particular I should say the way obedience takes form and relationships are bound in the faith I follow - I am excellente' at keeping my mouth shut.  (And of course, right now I just want to blab about all the Hot Topics I successfully managed not to give my two cents in...would that blow the whole "keeping my mouth shut" success story, though?)  I'm getting, however, less patient with the faith stuff.   When speaking to people who don't understand or who are seeking understanding, I think I do ok...but in speaking with people who either should understand or understand but make completely bone-headed choices, or who are discounting understanding for their own opinions, I'm (hold on Maria...you are about to see something ugly here) feeling Annaesque.  There, I said it.  And I'm sure half of you don't know what I mean by that, and I would be too ashamed to go further.  There are certain concepts that I would just like to bash and have done with. 

What breaks my heart is that I think that there are certain things without variables in the matter of faith...and those are the things I try very hard not to hide in hush-mode.  I'm not sure if I quite know how, however, to discuss those things...more specifically, a more microscopic version of those things, without sounding harsh or intimidating or judgemental...because, well, those things are harsh, intimidating and - to a certain extent - things on which we are judged.  Telling someone, for example, that there is, in fact, only One God hurts and/or offends people who are compromising, or who have loved ones who are non-believers.  And while I, in my weak human form, would love to say that we basically will get a pass if we are "good" (whose definition of good?) I know I can't.  But rather than remaining silent, I try to engage.  But there comes a point in any conversation, in any engagement, where plain old truth has to laid out there...plainly.