Tookshire

To Blog or Not to Blog about...

Over the years I've abused my "bookmarks."  Clearly not using the function for it's intended function, I lazily comb through the Internet and have pinned any generic thing found to my bookmark section, never to be viewed again.  As I've had severe writer's block, I decided to compile a list (a portion at a time) of things to write about, using for inspiration things found dogeared and forgotten on the web.

Thus far, I have:

• The validity of First Fruits as one of the moedim (brought on by a slew of posts popping up seemingly everywhere last year which claimed that First Fruits was not, in fact, one of the seven Feasts of the Lord)
• The concept of "agree to disagree" from a Biblical World View  (when and where it might be appropriate)
• The timing and history behind Pesach (Passover) (not inspired by on-line things, but by a piece seen during a trip to a gallery showing.)
• End-time(s)...in particular, my own view.  I first shared my thoughts via email to a couple of people, maybe seven or eight years ago.  I don't believe in pretrib timing.  I do believe in pre-wrath (a term popularized by M. Rosenthal, but a belief certainly not invented by him).  I've seen around the web (and in my I-net circles) this concept/label taken by many...some of whom are confusing it with what they profess (which is a mid trib belief).  Very easy to do if you are fairly new to articulating your belief.  I'm not knocking anyone, but I thought it would personally be an interesting undertaking...not to compare to other beliefs, or to debate...but simply to share what all prewrath entails. 
• Star Wars.  LOL, yes, I've sufficiently waited till there is no more bandwagon, and the original trilogy on VHS is collecting dust on the shelves of America.  I want to discuss what makes a decidedly non-Christian film good as lessons for Christian morals, stories and ideals.  And the when, where and whys it isn't always appropriate.
• Israel today.  Readers know my love for the people, the land.  This year in home school, I've introduced the beginnings of "current events" to my children.  Until this fall, I was very inconsistent and anemic with this aspect of their education.  One of the curricula we're using this year is a souped up version of Around the World in 180 Days.  An ongoing activity is to "watch" for news items pertaining to the geographic area of the month.  I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time.  I'm truly not getting a good read on the kids feelings, either.  While unrelated to the AW180, I also want them to start watching news revolving in and around Israel.  I'm not going to regularly report the news, but I think maybe I'll create a sort of "summary of characters"  and post it up here sometime as well.
• Columbus Day.  I'm likely going to do this as a theme sometime leading up to October.  A friend of mine emailed me (took this one not from my bookmarks, but from an in-box).  I love themes, and am more inspired to type/blog when I have something cookin'.
• I've been meaning to (for years) type some stuff up on our family keeping kosher.  I'd honestly like to do that.
• Walking through the bible.  I love, love, love when I stumble across a blogger who is just flat out writing about a particular book of the bible.  And by that, I mean, months long walking through, studying, writing, testing and sharing.  I seldom comment, because, while I know they are sharing, I find it totally awesome that someone is journaling such a profound personal undertaking...and wouldn't want to sidetrack the Spirit's teaching/leading.  I truly want to do this myself...I just don't know what book.  Hrmm.  Any suggestions?
• Torah cycle.  This is fairly newish to me, and thought I'd occasionally just write what I've read.
• Household Journals...OK, I've see-sawed on this one...sometimes using them and LOVING them...and other times I slave over creating something that should take me smoothly through the year, only to leave it forgotten by the end of the week.  (Seriously!  I found one today that I created back in October to carry me through the New Year.)  I book marked some "ideas" to include or to create a super household journal...one even utilizing a laptop user-account into a strictly paperless journal.
• Mother-in-law.  During the winter holidays there were many blogs centering around family.  More specifically, dreading being around family or family members.  There seemed to be an equal split between their relatives and his relatives.  Is it easier to deal with the dysfunction in your own family than with in-laws?  I don't know.  I had all the stereotypical MIL comments tossed my way, and we did have unforeseen apron strings wrapped around us both for a number of years.  A recent IRL discussion has me thinking, however, what kind of MIL will I be?  Not what I aspire or intend, mind you, but how will I actually turn out?  I'm looking at my very attractive daughters, looking forward to being a grandma, and have been praying for their future husbands and grooming my daughters to be good wives...but, honestly...will that necessarily mean that the guy out there is being shaped to become a good husband?  I'll attempt to walk in another woman's shoes as I discuss MILs.
• Judging.  I read an excellent post earlier this month on judging.  How often do I hear arguments from both side of the coin (to judge, or not to judge).  Result:  I'd really like to sound off sometimes.  Perhaps I'll do so in a post.
• Husband bashing.  What is with the husband bashing?  Particularly over little trite things?  There are two women on line that I read - and I admit that I read them for the same reasons people tune into American Idol's audition programs...for the sheer traffic accident horror attraction.  Almost lost amidst some of their more bizarre entries is a steady undercurrent about how horrible their husbands are.  From what I can tell (which is solely their offered complaints) the only true trouble the husband is causing is in not bowing to every whim or being in complete agreement.  And honestly, from the stories these women tell (the conversational play by plays blow by blows with their husbands)  the women aren't making their marriages a joy.  One marriage has actually ended over the course of a few years in my reading, and it seems she is still lost on as to why the marriage dissolved the way it did.  OK..so now you get the flavor of a future post on husband bashing.
• Spankings.  Always controversial.  At this point I think we are awaiting the passing of a bill that puts spanking parents in jail.  I've read about this, listened to proponents of such a law on conservative talk (radio) shows...and for most of my parenting life I've listened to the bellowing and unified voice of my parents, grandparents, childless couples and parents whose children are absolutely begging to be spanked, all come down on spanking.  Franklin's actually given instructions for a mother to spank her child.  She called the police to discipline her out of control child, do you believe it?  She thought that spanking was illegal.   Now armed with the proper and safe definition of what a spanking is, and how to administer the punishment, I'm hoping that there was a turn around in that household. 
• Guns and stun-guns.  In particular, I want to address police use of such weapons.  Now, now, I know what you are thinking..."Jamie, you're a police-officers wife.  Enough said."   Oh, but, you see, I almost feel as if I have to say something.  I've clipped, through bloglines, a bloggers entry condemning a SWAT team shooting/killing a young teen.  I don't think the public is as aware of what all is involved with calling the SWAT team out, or how much I don't value some would-be-suicide-by-cop kid as I do the safety of my own husband and father of my children.
• Which then would also bring about (in my mind) the issue of death penalties...particularly from a Biblical world view.  Guess which side I'm on?  Easy, yes? ...but guess why.
• A popular meme going around the blogsphere is "What Works For Me Wednesdays."  One lady, last fall did a three (?) part series using that format, to share a certain homeschooling advice.  Wouldn't a HS WWFMW type thing be wonderful?  OK, I don't have enough helpful hints to fill up an entire year...but I do have some kinks worked out in the planning department after all these years.  I've often thought of sharing on-line, and have been requested to share a number of times IRL.  Perhaps I'll do a few posts on our organizational tactics.
• HS Curriculum.  I don't know much, but I know which ones I love.  I will share some of the oldies we've used and discuss prospects going forward.
• Clearly I didn't categorize my bookmarks, as I'm right back on religion again.  Very very recently I commented on a blog whose entry, I believe, was to challenge us in the arena of Christian charity.  I think my comment was lost, as I was questioning the validity of the context/format used to frame her post.  (In fairness, everything was quotes from a book she was sharing.)  Aside from historical claims I had never before seen substantiated (but, I haven't read every book under the sun, either) there was the implication that we should be ashamed, those of us in a position of being charitable.  So...without making it an apology, I'm going to hit on this at some point.
• Which led me to an interesting comment from another blogger on a somewhat unrelated topic...and something that I will say is a minor {squeenchy-minor} peeve of mine.  When [Christian] individuals make the assertion that [other] Christians are purposefully playing dumb with scripture (refusing to understand it or a portion) those believers are in fact trying to excuse themselves from their responsibilities laid out in scripture.  I don't necessarily disagree with that sentiment, as long as it isn't broad brushed across the board.  What fascinates me however, is that statement normally would come from a person who could equally be deemed as holier-than-thou (not necessarily stuck up), because the speaker would (with some exception in humility) be positioning themselves as one who is not avoiding their responsibilities.    Yet, when I hear accusations of others "picking and choosing" scripture to follow from people who have for all intent and  purposes set aside God's Law...well, honestly?  Kettle, this is Mr. Black.  Wow.  I think that was just my post/entry, LOL.
• A melancholy blog entry was saved, written by a mom who is not quite enamored with homeschooling, and is struggling a bit in the desire department of the HS Journey.  I'd like to write a bit more bare bones about homeschooling.  Don't get me wrong, I love it.  I want it for my children.  Does it mean that I'm a model for it?  No.  One day with me might turn off a prospective home schooler.  Honestly, it's taken me years to get this good, LOL. 
• Which leads me to a not-inspired-by-the-Internet topic.  About women lying to other women about being a wife and mother.  I'll reign in on my desire to blog about it right this exact moment.  But it's something that has been on my heart for years...and something I'd like to address.

There...I've killed some of my book marks and have created quite a little list for myself.  Only something like 5,000 left to go through.  When I have more time, I'll compile another list or seven and then map out some writing assignments for myself.  You, lucky Reader, you!

Made

My Franklin.  He's not the most Harlequin-y romantic guy out there.  His romance comes in forms of almost nightly foot massages, cooking dinners if and when I feel like not cooking (and without my even asking), quick and cheap lunches out alone, reading in the same vincity of one another, or car rides.  All of that is rather sweet, and I adore it...but words don't come easy to him.  The difference between being told, "I love you, too" and "I love you, too, baby" are huge and significant for him in the deep-seated heart department.  For a girl who grew up swooning and hoping for her shining knight to be a Cyrano, sometimes I can be very callous and try to push him into saying "something nice."  (LOL, that's when I get, "I love you, you're my pretty baby." 

That makes, however, things like a yearly boquet of grocery store flowers, or a surprise gift of a super dark chocolate candy bar or a linger stare with those eyes of his...with the crinkles just visible in the corners of his lid...all the more...well, stirring.  I don't know why, but those things are more important and endearing to me than a steady flow of poetic "romantic" words.  Still...it's nice to hear "something nice."

My own true love and I have a like-mind in that we do not believe in sould mates (as if there were no choice in the matter...as if God worked people like magnets to find each other within the radius of hometowns or college campuses, or bars, LOL).  So imagine my surprise, when unprompted, and in the middle of a discussion of, I think it was the world of art or current events, Franklin casually includes the phrase, "I think you were made for me."  Now, before you go awwww let me tell you, he wasn't trying or intending that as a romantic statement.  It was infact, a conclusion.   A conclusion that made my heart jump, but a conclusion none the less.  I asked him to back up a little, when the conversation came to it's end, to explain his meaning...pointing out that he didn't believe in soul-mates or had he changed his mind on this.  Heaven forbid, he doesn't believe in soul-mates...but he does believe that I was made for him...and, as he continued, he believed that he was made for me.   He couldn't articulate enough for me to, in turn, articulate to you, Reader.  But I think we've shared this unspoken conclusion since we first met.  After all, our first "date" was an interview-like.  (I've shared this before, but he took me to a chapel, sat me down and explained to me his relationship with God and his desire for a wife...and then laid out what he was looking for, hoped for, expected from and expected to provide a wife and future family.)  And honestly, that interview still remains in my heart as the most romantic thing because I knew he was searching for me.

My son's eye

Yesterday, during my son's doctor appointment, we were told that his body appears to be rejecting the transplant.  His pressure was up, the swelling was high.  Changes have been made to some of his meds and new meds were added, also.  The doctor is going this route before we consider surgery again.  We have two future appointments in the meantime.

Deeply

I just have to say how deeply I love my husband.  There have been things in the last couple of years that have just put us through the ringer.  And while sometimes those things brought out the worst in me, I have to say, that the aftermath (and sometimes continuing circumstances) just catches my breath about how incredibly stable and strong and ... yes I'm going to say it ... selflessly heroic my man is.

Everyone here knows about his training to be in the police department...and the adjustment everyone made for that...not just with our thinking and our time with him, but in knowing what he is facing every day.  Everyone here has varying levels of knowledge, but at least knowledge of what hurdles, heartbreaks and hopes we have traveled with our young son in the journey to save his eye and then his sight.  A few of you know some more of my personal life (that I will not go into here), especially events that have transpired in the last month...the last week specifically...I would have rather gnawed through my own arm than to go through.  We also have the ordinary struggles with money, organization, etc.  that most couples or individual spouses go through. 

But after last week, I'm looking at him differently.  I love him so so much more than I did the week before.  And the week before I was already at the "no bounds" point.  How is it possible?  How is it possible to already feel something is so complete and to find oceans more behind it? 

All of Me: The chronicles of Jamie's 2007 aspirations meet reality

Those who know

Not repeating things here...but those who know...know what I"m talking about.

Yesterday was a weird awkward thing...like inbetween conversations.  Franklin says it is just me at the moment, that this is all what I'm creating because of guilt that shouldn't be there.  His last day off is today (Friday) and I just am bopping back and forth being sick to my stomach with anxiety.

My girls are off to my grandmother's on Saturday...maybe over night, maybe not.  My grandmother has a fractured ankle and problems with that same leg.  She's been in a cast since just before (?) Christmas.  My girls love the time away from the house, and there they get to play keeping house (helping her out) and do the cooking...the whole shebang that they already do here, only it's called Chores and isn't as delightful or fun as it is at their great-grandmother's home.  Max is likely going to be next door to my home, working on the rental property with Grandpa.  My dad is very warped in the old fashioned way that boys are the best, so if my father is actually doing anything (besides couch to tv interaction) he is always over the top with my son.  Now, there's not much to spoil a boy while working on a rental piece...so I'm not sure how that will all play out.

This leaves me for the weekend at home.  There are a zillion things that absoluely have to be done, and about half that in the "would make me feel better" if they were done category.  No, I haven't taken down our tree and Christmas decorations.  I do have half the house's interior Christmas decorations already gathered, taking up valuable realestate in my home.  We just truly haven't had the time.  It's making me itchy.

Today I also start reading my first novel of the year (did you hear the announcer-type voice, and blasts of trumpets?   I did.)  I've selected Middlemarch by George Elliot...a book/author that I've never read, but whose title/name always seemed to pop up in my life.  I'm actually kind of hoping for cold weather so I can put the kettle on, and wrap up with the book in my nice thick blanket tonight.

Yes...you are getting more of these mundane every-day posts.  I'm sorry.  Things will be a little stilted for a short while longer, I'm sure.

OK...um, wow. Christian, did you get this?

The Jerusalem Post

Right on: A Plea to American Christians

by Michael Freund

Dated: 12/12/06

The clock is ticking, yet no one wishes to hear it. The countdown to a nuclear Iran has begun, and with each passing day the nightmare scenario draws ever closer to becoming a reality.

In just a few months' time, if all goes according to plan, the tyrant of Teheran will preside over a celebration of terrifying, and history-altering, significance.

His goal, as he has stated repeatedly in recent weeks, is to complete the installation of thousands of centrifuges, the devices used to enrich uranium, by the end of March 2007.

This will give the ayatollahs the ability to start producing nuclear weapons, and to spread nuclear terror far and wide, threatening the existence not only of Israel, but of Western civilization itself.

The would-be Hitler of Persia has already made it abundantly clear that he plans to wipe Israel and its millions of Jews off the map. And last week he told Western leaders that their turn would soon be next: "If you do not respond to the divine call," he warned, "you will die soon and vanish from the face of the earth."

Three months. That's all we've got. That's all that stands right now between the world as we know it, and one in which the Persian executioner will be able to put his finger on the nuclear button.

This can not be allowed to happen. The danger is too great, the peril is too real.

Now is the time for all those who love Israel to stand up and be counted. Now is the time for pro-Israel Christians everywhere, and especially in the US, to rise up and cry out on behalf of God's people.

Storm the heavens with your prayers, and the White House with your pleas. Speak out now and urge US President George W. Bush to eliminate the Iranian nuclear threat once and for all.

BY NOW it should be clear: Nothing less than US military action is going to deter Teheran from pursuing its nuclear goals. Threats of sanctions and finger-wagging have failed to do the job.

Europe is hopelessly weak and conciliatory, and the United Nations is completely inept. There is one man, and one man alone, whom God has put in a position to stop Iran, and that man's name is George W. Bush.

But the president is under attack, as the media and his critics do their utmost to tear him down. They hate him and everything he stands for, and will stop at nothing to spoil his remaining time in office.

The president is a good man, and a man of faith. He knows what needs to be done; but like any leader, he also needs to hear from those who put him in office.

And that, dear Christians, is where you come in to play.

With your size and your influence, and yes, with your faith, it is you who can make a difference at this critical juncture for Israel and the West.

Many of my fellow Jews in the US are largely silent, afraid to be seen as leading the charge. It is as if they learned nothing from the Jewish people's horrific experience in Europe over six decades ago, when silence in America made possible extermination across the sea.

But you know better than that, and you are not afraid.

On issues that you care about, you have demonstrated an impressive ability to affect US policy, mustering the passion and power necessary to shape debate. Now, more than ever, is the time to do so again, for the threat to us all is very, very real.

Flood the White House and Congress with your concerns. Let them know that you fear for Israel and its safety. Urge your elected officials to hit Iran hard, and soon. Not merely with criticism, but with bombs as well.

Because unless the US Air Force goes into action, the mullahs of Teheran will jeopardize everything we hold dear.

ISRAEL, AS you know, is the "apple of His eye" (see Deut. 32:10 and Zech. 2:12). And God has made clear in His Scripture what He expects from people of faith at times such as these, when Israel is in danger.

"You who make mention of the Lord," says the prophet Isaiah (Chap. 62: 6-7), "do not keep silent, and give Him no rest until He establishes and until He makes Jerusalem unto a praise in the earth."

"Pray for the peace of Jerusalem," says the Psalmist, in Psalm 122. "They that love thee shall prosper."

These aren't just guidelines or recommendations from books of old. They are a command to each and every one of us, Jew and Christian alike, to stand up and speak out when Israel is under threat.

I have no doubt, not one iota of disbelief, that God will save His people Israel. Deliverance comes from Him, and Him alone. But each of us must do our part to help bring it about.

And you, dear Christians, now have the power, and the opportunity, to do so. To move the president's heart, and to save Israel and the West from a truly diabolical fate.

So please, don't tarry - we dare not delay. The clock is winding down, the alarm bells are ringing. Raise your voices in prayer and supplication. The time to do something is now, and there is not a moment to waste.

The writer served as Deputy Director of Communications in the Prime Minister's Office under former premier Binyamin Netanyahu.

It's Raining It' Pouring

Does the sound of rain make you want to snuggle under a blanket?  It's doing the lazy rain thing outside now.  I love that sound.

It does spoil outside activities, though.  It's cold, too...so the rain isn't going to "feel" pleasant.

I've a conference call with the lawyers  this afternoon...only time they and my husband have available time on calendars.  I say available...but it cancels the plans Franklin and I had together.  Which we have too little together time. 

I guess I'm not as blue as I'm sounding.  It's just a rainy day.  And I'm not looking forward to the conference call.  I don't exactly expect anything bad...it's just I don't want to have to deal with it on top of all that I already am having to sort out. 

All of Me

I've recently talked about wanting to start fresh, blogwise...admittedly I didn't have so much as a theme...I just knew I wanted focus, and I knew that the focus needed to be something deep within me.  While my eyes are on God, I have to say that I'm very neglectful with this vessel he's given me (um, that'd be me).  I don't like me. very. much.  And to make a short story shorter, that is the problem.  At the root of my bad choices, that one fact sits.  Oh, I love myself not to do myself obvious insane harm or take unnecessary risks like free falling off of Niagra Falls (I'm such a chicken).  But it is why I put myself last, not because I'm such a great mom or wife.  Honestly, I cater to myself quiet often...I indulge in my OCD and SA, my over eating, my laziness with exercise, my procrastination with my lost love of reading.  I excuse myself quite often from a rich prayer life, and seldom is the laundry caught up...which allows me to pamper myself in sweats, t-shirt, no-bra and a pony tail.  So, when I say I don't take time for myself...I mean I don't invest, I don't aspire, and I don't encourage.   I do at least that much for my children and my husband...but in those parameters, I put myself last.  That's not what I want to be about.  That's not what I even want.  Well, no pain, no gain; nothing good ever came easy; and a bunch of other cliche's that mean, "Get moving, girl!"

I once belonged to a church whose motto was Standing Firm But Not Standing Still.  I adored that as a motto, and wanted to take it as my own.  Somewhere along the way, however, while I stood Firm, I was also standing still...and the ground shook me off base without my realizing it.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I realized it; but, I just didn't appreciate it.

What's all this have to do with blogging?  Well...I could just go blithely posting posts here on Tookshire...or I can allow myself a shot at starting over in a place that I can trace my accomplishments.  See, I never ever feel as if I have anything to show.  Those readers who are mom's can appreciate that while we can take little isolated things in our position as mom's (or even wives) as accomplishments, for all intents and purposes, those things are a never-ending story.  I want something I can shut the book on later.  Sure, the roots planted or the lessons learned might continue, but I want to look back down the mountain and know how far I've climbed when I reach the top.  (A bit over dramatic, but it works for me.)  I've been in the valley, too long my friends, and I need another perspective.  I need to go to that mountaintop retreat so that I can again descend into the valley for work, having been renewed and rejuvinated.

All this to invite you to take a peek, or to bookmark, or what not, a sub-site of the Tookshire board.  Those who have visited Tookshire "live" may have noticed my new swanky pre-defined theme.  With that new swanky pre-defined theme, you may have noticed (and why wouldn't you if you were observant ~snark) a new addition to the sidebar called "Tookshire Domain."  There you'll find some of my defunct or under construction (still lacking updates since 2004) places, but you'll also find a link for my 2007 aspirations entitled All of Me.  That's where I think I'm going to be found for the majority of 2007 (in fact, you can take that to the bank).  I'll still post on the main page, here, but my focus will be journaled at the All of Me site.  My catalyst for blogging there is, to examine this relationship I have with myself...and to understand why I so much don't like this being, this person whom God loves so dearly.  I want to stand rightly in my relationship with Him, so I'm going on this journey.  And now I'm going to blatently ask that you once in a while drop in for comments to give me that little extra helping hand.  My blogging goal is to type on something at least once every evening...with pictures (either my own or ripped off the web ... honestly of course).  I don't care for the layout, but mixed media doesn't give you  options...and I really wanted that calendar option to help me visually trace myself. 

I'm not sure how the site over there will develop.  Weight is a big issue for me, so that's what I ended up starting out with over there.  My regular jibber jabber can still be found here...and likely I'll post all my biblecentric things on this site, just because I think it is easier for those of you who have come into the habit of dropping by for my Feasts of the Lord postings.  OK...I suspect that's it...I look forward to seeing you!

One down, 364 to go

Franklin rang in the New Year while working.  He and another officer opted to grab a quick midnight dinner together.  I'm so happy he has friends at work.  My hubby worked for a long time as a teacher, and had very few friends, as he doesn't like to develop relationships with females (yes, I never have to worry).  Needless to say, teaching positions are typically filled by females.

The kids and I stayed  home, as per our norm.  For Christmas we received a couple of plastic "vintage" popcorn "bags" and a thing of Jiffy-pop Popcorn.  We heated that up, divided it between the "bags" and a bowl and snuggled down to watch The Lady In The Water.  (I've no idea why this was trashed...it was a wonderful movie.)  The  movie ended just ten minutes before the stroke of midnight...we turned the tv to watch the celebrations across the country, while fireworks started going off in our neighborhood.  Olivia and I ventured out on our covered back-patio and watched those that were exploding from the back neighborhood.  Rain started about a  half hour in, which silenced the neighborhood...so the kids (particularly Maxwell) were able to sleep soundly.  I'm a little surprised that the noise of fireworks weren't heard tonight (the 1st).  Must not have had a lot of left overs.

Today went so quickly that I hardly had time to notice.  The kids are helping me catch up on some documentation for school.  I'm already constructing portfolios for the end of the year and most of my day was spent creating forms.  A quick run to the grocery store ended up with an $80 bill...but I think we have a week's worth of food, when combined with what's in the pantry and freezer.  Tonight we had Italian Chicken, Sautee'd Spinach with onion and peppers, and buttered noodles.  Tasty.  After dinner we read the first chapter in their new American History class.  The remainder of the 2007 year will be so hectic and busy, that I've decided we'll forgo reports and written Q&A within the text...we'll just do reading together after dinner. 

This kind of post is not the most interesting, or the most memorable...but I'm trying just to write for writings sake.  I've been averaging only four hours a night of sleep, and I'm truly exhausted.  I love staying up by myself though...I don't get anything done, really.  I always tell myself that I will, though.  Well, that's it, I suppose.  Good night from a tired Jamie, and a Happy New Year!